“Yes, I’d like to report a bone buried in my back yard.”- When dogs have amnesia.
‘The doctors would ask me to point to the door or to my head or my elbow. I couldn’t understand what they were saying.’
This Jason could probably take your head off with one punch, but all you gotta do is run and you’re good.
Tell my wife I died with a smile on my face and this picture of a cat posing like a pin up model in my head.
What's that? I'm sorry. My Irony Aid is knocking at my door. Apparently King Star Wars from the Star Wars Kingdom wants my head on a lightsaber.
“Of course, I can get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a bull's ass…”
This Green Arrow could shoot an apple off my head with a smile on her face.
I know a lot of female baristas. Is that because women like being baristas or because the companies have a gender preference for that job? I'm so in over my head here.
‘They got a 3D printer to create a titanium plate to fit in my head - I mean, that's some real James Bond shit. I was amazed when they told me that.’