The 'brief safe' is a disguised safe that no one would ever touch because they look like poop-stained underwear. Or, you could just put your money in the bank, but that's such a silly idea no one would ever do that.
If your job is based purely on looks alone, why would you be surprised when you don’t get the job if you don’t look the part?
Ring ring, it's your bikini calling. It wants to tell you that you look great!