Good thing that neck brace is flesh colored so it's totally not noticeable.
Paracord and Straps: Paracord can be used for a gazillion things and you can wear it as necklaces or bracelets for easy packing. And bring some straps for your hat, sunglasses, etc.
This joke is cathartic because it prays on the anger people often feel when confronted with ignorance. JOKE EXPLAINED.
This is what they do when you accidentally wear the same pants as a coworker.