I went to WSU and am not a fan of UW, so this was mostly done out of spite.
Hello, I am from five years in the future and I am here to tell you where these new grads ended up. This student is now a producer on The Daily Show!
Am I cured? Am I capable of feeling empathy toward other people's break-ups?
Needle & Thread: Of course try and take the medical variety with you, but regular thread and needle will work if that's all you have to patch yourself up.
This girl refused a jaywalking ticket and assaulted an officer with her high heel. Winning.
The one person here NOT on drugs is trying to cheat on her husband. Winning.
This looks bad, but you should be impressed that I delivered two packages and two water jugs in one trip.
Stone Arrowheads: You can pick these up online and with some thread and sticks, make great hunting and defense companions. But a word of caution - be smart about the size of the ones you try and put in your carry-on.
Whistle: This is a multi-purpose gadget... it can signal rescuers, ward off animals, and give a what's up? to any random ladies you might meet.
Technically, what this kid did was within the rules. You win this round, child!