Maybe have some self-restraint and don't buy them for your kids when they ask, huh?
If you don't have a television that's 20-feet-tall, give me your man card.
This is what happens when you let your toddler pick out your tattoo colors.
When someone gives you a present and you have to pretend you don’t already know its going to suck.
When you regret your tattoo so much you have to grow a shitty beard instead.
When your butt dirty and no matter how much you wipe you can’t get it clean.
What happens when you lose you mind waiting for your wife to finish shopping
When you don't think you're old enough to change careers but you hand THIS to your kid so they can 'help send my resume using the online.'