Microphone tongs may sound fun in theory, but in practice the only reason to use them is if you like looking like a moron.
If you want to look like Spiderman while walking on the beach have we got the mask for you!
Flesh-toned printed tights make you look like you have leprosy, not style.
Have you ever wondered how many bones are in your fingers? There has to be like a million.
'Under education, it says you graduated from Cheeseburger University. That's all the proof I need to know you know what a cheeseburger looks like.'
Say 'She looks like she knows what she's doing' if you read this headline.
You can't have your cake and eat it too if you're going to cut it like this, Darrell
I know what John Cena looks like and this isn't it. You can't fool me, internet.
‘I have vague recollections of doctors and nurses coming in and out to check on me and asking weird things like 'do you know where you are?' and 'what's your name?'
Radio: More storms could be coming and more dams could be breaking. You'll only know this if you have word from the outside world. Make sure your radio is waterproof, like this submarine radio, and pack extra batteries.