Those “mild” chicken wings just hit him while he was talking up the waitress.
Carl knew he shouldn’t have had those magnets implanted in his hands no matter how cool it seemed.
Those balloons don’t replace the food. So at least he got the asshole part right.
How did they keep Jack Nicholson's head so still when he froze to death? Tada!
This guy is never putting his shirt back on again so everyone knows how America he is!
1. Audie Murphy lied about his age so he could enlist in the US Army at 17.