No one makes this card for friends. They make it for themselves then give it to friends and await praise.
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Cheaper than giving a ham to the widow.
The best part about this card is that it's a real thing.
This feels like a fake but at the same time it could totally be real.
May as well cover it all in one card, who has time to remember every holiday?
They keep their mother's carcass in the attic.
Try ti guess the occasion this is for. Did you guess every occasion? You're right.
This is either some kind of hipster irony or an uncomfortable threat.
When you're playfully called an alcoholic, you may want to reconsider your lifestyle.
Hopefully we'll find a reason to use this card one day