Meerkat Keeper Beats Monkey Keeper Over Llama Keeper

These zoo love triangle stories are always the same.  The lady who takes care of the meerkats, in this case Caroline Westlake, was at a party ogling her llama-keeping love Adam Davies.  Problem was, the monkey keeper, Kate Sanders, was also at the party.  As you might expect, Mr. Llama had dated Monkey Girl for 5 years, but they’d recently broken up and now he was dating the Meerkat Lady.  It’s an intense and clearly hairy situation.

Monkey saw the couple together for the first time at an office Christmas party.  Is it still called “office” when you work at a zoo?  A work Christmas party.  Naturally, she insulted Meerkat’s appearance.  Meerkat overheard, because have you ever seen Meerkats?  Always standing and paying attention to everything.  Anyway, she overheard and decided to throw down, zoo style.  Rage in the cage lead to Monkey getting beat in the noggin with a wine glass, a wound that required stitches.  Meerkat denied the charge of “assault by beating” but she was found guilty anyway.

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Workside, Meerkat got canned from work while Monkey was given her final warning and banned from attending any zoo events from 2 years, because the last thing zoo events need is people behaving like animals, am I right?  Is this thing on?

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Monkey said in her defense that both sides had said inappropriate things to one another, and she was simply shocked that she’d seen a text between Meerkat and Llama that was sent when Monkey and he were still dating.  Then she felt something crack her in the chops and her mouth filled with blood.

Meerkat will be sentenced later this month.  I want to believe her lawyer was a Dodo Bird while the prosecution was a Snake and the judge was obviously a wise old owl and at some point in time this entire event will become a children’s cartoon.  A weird, threeway children’s cartoon.