YouTube TV Has Some Seriously Weird Exclusive Channels

Hey, ‘net heads and cord cutters, YouTube wants to re-introduce you to the joys of traditional television! Parent company Google has announced the imminent launch of YouTube TV, soon to be a player in the field of so-called “skinny bundling”: offering a smaller selection of channels—at a much lower price—than a traditional cable package. For $35 bucks a month, YouTube TV will offer all the networks and most stalwart cable favorites. In addition, you get a free subscription to YouTube Red—yes, YouTube Red, the streaming service that makes literally everyone say “Huh? Is that porn? How could a multibillion dollar corporation not realize that’s a bad name?” the first time they hear it. Check out the fantastic channels included:

The Illegally Uploaded Office Re-Run Channel — Join Michael, Dwight, Angela, and the rest of the gang for your 400th rewatch of the deposition episode on this channel of illegally uploaded episodes. Marvel at the clever ways people get around copyright violation detection algorithms: some episodes play at 1.25 speed, others have the picture reversed. The Scott’s Tots episode plays at half-speed AND the image is reversed AND has Cantonese subtitles! 

The Still In 240p Resolution Channel — Revisit these classic videos shot on flip phones and 1 megapixel digital cameras that haven’t been taken off the site because the uploader forgot the password or died. These videos are grainier than a bowl of Wheaties and will look even more terrible when streamed in HD. 

Roundtable Political Discussion Hosted by That Guy Who Raps in Family Guy Voices — Each week, join D.C.’s movers and shakers as they sit down to discuss immigration, the Fed and foreign policy with that guy who raps in Family Guy voices. Hear Quagmire ask Dick Gregory if flooding Minnesota with Somalis is really such a good idea, giggity giggity.

Old Episodes of Beavis and Butthead Where Beavis Still Says “Fire, Fire!” Channel — Remember when comedy was still legal? Take a trip back to the past with these videos of original Beavis and Buttheads recorded on VHS tapes where Beavis still says “fire, fire!” and they break into the hospital and drink morphine. MTV officially denies their existence but YouTube TV has pulled them from the memory hole! Also features original commercials for Mortal Kombat 3 on Super Nintendo.

Just SJW’s Criticizing Each Other For Problematic Content Network — They might call themselves “allies,” but these woke millennials never stop making videos calling each other out for their totally gross opinions. Watch someone explain how a video someone else made describing misgendering as an act of violence is actually an act of mainstreaming white supremacy. Trigger warning: you might just learn something!

Videos Not Shot Horizontally, Dammit Channel — Oh you KNOW the top comment on these videos is going to be a not-so-subtle reminder to turn your stupid phone sideways when capturing a fight between psychopathic eighth graders. You’ll shake in rage at the wasted space watching these on your 70″ television.

Videos That Really Should Have Been Three Minutes Channel — One or two decent points stretched out into eleven minutes (and more!) are the order of the day here. Get involved with these unedited Skype sessions, stream of consciousness ramblings, and first-time attempts from podcasters trying to crack the webisode world. 

Unavailable In Your Country Channel — Don’t worry about it. It’s not available in your country.