You Couldn’t Pay Me Enough To Hike This Trail

If you decide to go to China anytime soon there’s a mountain called Mt. Hua Shan.  And on that mountain is a trail.  A trail made for only crazy people. A trail that is over 6 hours long and 7,087 feet high.  But the real kicker is what is waiting for climbers at the top.  It’s certainly not the fountain of youth.

First, the hike itself doesn’t look too dangerous, just a bunch of stairs that would make Paula Deen break a cold sweat.



But they start to get a little narrow and little more steep.


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And it keeps going up…and up with no floating house to help you.


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Once you get to the top, it doesn’t end there.  You have to take this death bubble on a wire across a valley to get to the next walking path.


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And the next walking path looks like THIS.  I had no idea Castle Greyskull was located in China.


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Don’t worry, you can take a rest after throwing up from vertigo.


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But remember, there’s eager hikers behind you and it’s real hard to walk around if you can’t tell, so you better keep moving.


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Good Lord, this picture below looks like an M.C. Escher drawing.  Is that mountain below sideways??  Brain – can’t – handle!


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The sign reads: White People Are Crazy


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And when you’re finally finished with your heart attack workout, behold your reward for climbing over seven thousand feet into the air on a death mission to the top.

A teahouse.  A TEAHOUSE.


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That’s right, a nice cup of tea for all of your hard work.  No pitcher of beer, no chili dog.  Tea.  That’s what you get.


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I suppose it is a nice view.  But it’d probably look better on a postcard while I sit on my couch.  In conclusion, no thank you.

– Todd Spence (twitter)