Worst Rap Video Ever: International Edition

Break.com Staff by Break.com Staff on Jan. 22, 2013

There’s a lot of terrible rap in the world, just ask Fred Durst or Chingy if you can find the Starbucks where they work.  Of course it’s by no means easy but that doesn’t stop a lot of people with no talent from clearly thinking it is and giving it a shot.  And it’s not just suburban white kids and confused DeVry grads who just learned what a rhyme is from their Intro to Grammar class, oh no.  It’s a worldwide phenomenon.  And on that note, Break presents to you Alex du 76, straight out of France (or Belgium, or French Canadia, or wherever.  It’s not like anyone is going to take credit for him).

0:01 – What is that right there in the middle of the screen?

0:20 – So that’s definitely something added in post production.  Is that a title?  Are those words?  Why is this video 20 seconds of walking and windmills so far?

0:24 – Bring back the windmill please.

0:33 – This is either French rap or a remix of the sounds Arnold Schwarzenegger made in Total Recall when he was disguised as the fat lady and the costume started to freak out.  Or possibly that scene in Ace Ventura when Jim Carrey pretends to talk backwards.

0:36 – Did Lincoln even wear his hat this high?

0:44 – Hello again, ladies.  So is your brother the rapper or the director?  Both?

0:53 – OK girls, Alex, for this shot, I want the crappiest lighting possible.  Maybe we’ll use a Hi8 camera and just point it at the sun, how does that sound?

0:58 – Even f you don’t speak French, take a moment just to listen to the rhythm of what he’s saying at this point.  It sounds like a mental breakdown.  Like his mom and dad broke up and the girl he likes won’t answer his calls and he’s failing math and the dog ran away and he has this rash that makes it hurt every time he wipes and everything in the world is awful!

1:04 – He’s smuggling pigeons under that hat, right?  Or maybe he stole some Pepsi.

1:22 – They worked on that choreography all night, you guys.

1:55 – Probably for the best that we’re staring at the sun right now.

2:58 – Even Alex looks angry at this point.

3:08 – Who the hell is that kid?

3:15 – Dude, your house sucks.

3:34 – The dancers in this video were Isabelle and Fanny.  Please go to the comments now and speculate as to which one was Fanny.

22 comments
DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

And these are the same ass clowns that call Americans fat and classless. Myth busted.

LostKeys
LostKeys

Now I gotta get some Brika Brika in my ears to flush that out.

turkeyonrye
turkeyonrye

cest pourri son rap à ce ringard, pis les filles sont moches.

ajgmazzieri
ajgmazzieri

Rivaldi or College. You can't have your cake and eat it too you selfish French Fuk. Make your choice.

saintfrancis
saintfrancis

The girls are very talented dancers. I enjoyed that aspect of the video.

supergenius18
supergenius18

What is a Mexican pretending to be Russian doing with American girls?

rooner15
rooner15

those are some of the sickest dance moves around tho

Ermenegildo-Curri-782
Ermenegildo-Curri-782

He's French, not Belgian (thank god because i'm belgian). He's from the 76st arrondissement of France, the arrondissement of Rouen, Seine-Maritime.

RegisterJ
RegisterJ

Just think... he's having sex with those girls too!!

treyert
treyert

Rap, fap, same shit. You're lowlife and the only chicks you can get are fat ass tattooed cows.

RobJVM
RobJVM

What are those amorphous pink blobs undulating and rippling around him?

amncarter77
amncarter77

my eyes got tired from reading the caption

Shake-IT2
Shake-IT2

I think the fat one is Fanny!

jasperj
jasperj

Why them chicks wearin' so much clothes?

Wad97
Wad97

Punch it in the head.

DREWPBALLS1921
DREWPBALLS1921

At least his mom and sister were nice enough to pull the hats down over their beastly faces. Now they need hats for those giant asses.

blazingrngras
blazingrngras

fiddy cent aint got sh*t on the mc. I see Hollywood penthouse in his future. At least he has a fan basis of...3

randomhero1090
randomhero1090

The words are from the video editing software. Words show when you are using the demo/free version (need to buy a license to remove the words. Just adds to the "production factor."

Guy-Gordon-858
Guy-Gordon-858

I think he's saying, "I gots so much duckets that I fed my hoes fat." I could be wrong, it's been a while since I took ghetto Francais in high school.