8 Crowdfunding Campaigns That Were Destined to Fail

Crowdfunding is a pretty awesome way for people to raise money for projects and ideas that might otherwise fade into oblivion.  It gives the power of making or breaking an idea to the average joe instead of some executive somewhere who may or may not have the public interest in mind.  But it also leaves the door open to pretty much anyone with even a half formed terrible idea to try to raise a whack of cash for some of the worst ideas imaginable.  Like these ones.

Twerk Island

Twerking seems like the sort of thing that might make money, right?  What about a movie about a twerking contest with Russian dancers who travel to an island where the best dance teams around the world will compete in a twerking contest and the winners of the contest (the contest in the movie is real, by the way) will get cash and two weeks on the island.  Also it will be an all star movie and it will be on MTV.  Promise. 

The people behind the project only need a million euros.  They raised 30.  So close.


Fish on Wheels

Do you have a pet fish?  Our condolences.  But maybe as a fish owner you’ve thought “man, wouldn’t it be cool if my fish had the freedom to go wherever he wanted?” If you have had that thought, hopefully you just let the damn fish go.  But if that didn’t occur to you then maybe this product was for you, a mobile aquarium that uses a camera to track your fish’ movements and moves the aquarium accordingly.  That way your fish can travel wherever he wants without leaving the aquarium.  It’s the greatest thing in prison technology since shanks!

While it seems like maybe a quirky toy at best, the €40,000 price tag on its kickstarter took it from the realm of goofy right into “seriously?” and, of course, did not manage to raise its funding goal


Thomas the Tank Engine RPG

A lot of crowdfunding campaigns fail, but some do so in such spectacular ways that it makes your head hurt.  Rick Calvins had no experience in making video games nor did he have the rights to use Thomas the Tank Engine at all, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming big, a Fallout-style RPG world full of sentient train people.  He made exactly no dollars of a requested $20,000. 


Little Eatz

Have you ever wished you could eat the same food as your dog?  Most of us probably never ask that or, if you do ponder sharing snacks with your pooch, you do it the other way.  The dog eats the same food as you, not the other way around.  You have steak, the dog gets a piece.  You have a burger, the dog gets a piece.  But when the dog has a cookie, you don’t usually take a piece.  Until now! 

Little Eatz are cookies you can share with your dog!  Of course they’ve vegan, because carnivores never think to do stuff like this, and they’re mostly made from flour and applesauce, meaning odds are your dog isn’t going to actually eat them at all, but it’s a nice thought.

It’s worth noting that you can just share anything you normally eat right now with your dog, too.  Yeah, the Little Eatz people point out lots of things can be harmful to dogs, but you could just not feed that stuff to your dog and save yourself the trouble of spending whatever these things might have cost.  We’ll probably never know since the Kickstarter only pulled in $251 of its $5000 goal. 


Doll Phones

These people wanted $10,000 to start a company that would make scale model smart phones for dolls.  And they didn’t mean anything coy by the word “doll,” they legitimately meant 18 inch dolls that children play with. 

The smart phones would not be real smart phones, they’d just be scale model ones, and also tablets, made of vinyl and ABS plastic.  They raised $59. 

Scan Boobs

We can all agree the fight against breast cancer is a noble one and probably one that touches most of our lives in some way.  We can also agree that maybe not the best way to bring awareness to the issue is to cover boobs with QR codes that people can scan to either get more info or donate to charity.  Why is this a bad idea?  Ask any woman at all anywhere how she’d feel about a stranger holding their phone up to her boobs and see what she says.

The shirts this company wanted to make would feature two QR codes, so you stand to be scanned twice, and they wanted $5000.  They managed to pull in only $36 and it’s just as well, that $5000 wouldn’t have come close to covering the sexual harassment problems this idea would have raised.

Bassoon metal

This campaign was abit of a joke from the get go, but even a joke campaign can raise money.  This one just didn’t try hard.  Basically two people decided they wanted to be in a metal bassoon band but couldn’t afford bassoons.  According to the backstory they had lied about being in the band for real and now wanted to make it a reality.  Surely this was all a little tongue in cheek but they were still asking for a decent sum of money to buy bassoons.  They raise $1.  This despite offering a private concert to anyone who would front them the entire $1100, and had the patience for them to learn bassoon first.



Ballsoap is soap for your balls.  Right away you might be thinking “isn’t all soap for your balls?” and realistically the answer to that is yes.  But this particular soap is specially designed for nuts, apparently.  Like…somehow?  OK, nothing makes this ball specific more than the name of it so maybe it’s no surprise that it only raised $485 of a requested $5000.  That money was meant to mass produce ball soap and handle the legal/startup of a ball soap emporium.