This Woman Made Yogurt With Her Vagina

If you’re not already aware, yogurt is a dairy product produced when bacteria ferment milk.  This is also how you get cheese.  Milk and bacteria do amazing things together, provided it’s the right bacteria and you know what you’re doing.  It’s been produced for ages and there’s nothing really special about it, generally speaking.  And then this story happens.

Cecilia Westbrook, who you’ll be happy to know isn’t just some crazy lady on Etsy but is a full on M.D./PhD student in Wisconsin got herself to thinking of bacterial cultures one day and the various things people eat, if you catch our meaning, and came to the conclusion that maybe the bacteria found in a lady’s special flower could be used to cultivate some frogurt. 

See, probiotics are big these days, you’ve probably seen commercials telling you to take probiotics for your digestive health and, if you’re a lady, for vaginal opulence.  Westbrook’s theory was that, if you do take probiotics and have a healthy lady zone, couldn’t those healthy bacteria be put to yet a greater good?

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Yeo Valley? Is that what the kids call it?

Using a wooden spoon (for real, she said so), she scooped up some Soylent and set about her experiment.  After a night of percolations, she had a bowl of homemade gurt which she enjoyed with blueberries.  Let’s defer to a quote on the taste – “ our, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue.”  And editorial reserves the right to not even attempt a joke at this juncture, but feel free to try your hand at one or two in the comments.

While the chief bacteria found in a woman’s otherwise healthy downtown area is, in fact, lactobacillus which is a greater starter for cheese or yogurt, there’s no guarantee it’s all you have down there.  As a microbiologist contacted by VICE pointed out, you have all kinds of critters rooting around down there and if you try to culture them, maybe you get something that’s a pathogen and instead of yogurt you create white, slimy death with fruit mixed in.

Westbrook made one more batch of poonshine that turned out even more tart and tasting like spoiled milk before she packed up the home yogurt shop for good.  She wasn’t really looking to start a small business or anything, just try an experiment and prove a point, which maybe she did and maybe she didn’t.  But now all of us are slightly weirded out as a result, and anytime one person can do that to thousands of others, good for them.