Lactating Woman Used Her Breast Milk To Rob A Pharmacy

An unidentified woman in Germany used her lactating breasts as part of a scheme to steal money from a pharmacy’s cash register. Police in Darmstadt said that the woman approached the cash register, exposing her breasts while pretending to buy a breast pump and squirted milk at the cashier. She used the squirt attack as a distraction to reach into the cash register, grab a handful of money and run out of the store. She continued to squirt anyone in her path as she ran past another counter and attempted to take money from another cash register before leaving the store.

We assume it was like the lobby scene from The Matrix, only with way more breast milk.

There are serious concerns about the availability of weapons especially for those who wish to use them for nefarious purposes. It’s got a lot of people up in arms (no pun intended) because they are considered sacrosanct as a Constitutional right. Well, imagine the uproar that would ensue now that we know that women’s breasts can be used as a weapon and no, that’s not the beginning of a pick up line.

Sorry, we drifted off for a second and forgot what we were going to write for this caption.

Police believe that she intended to use her squirting ta-tas as a distraction and she could face theft or even robbery charges if she’s captured. If one of the clerks was lactose intolerant, she might even get an assault charge. At least we could only hope.

By Danny Gallagher

source: UPI