Woman Threatens To “Bring Plane Down” Over Cat & Claims She Is In The Mafia

For today’s story about a crazy passenger getting a flight diverted for an emergency landing we hop aboard Condor Airlines. That is where on a flight from Las Vegas, Nevada to Frankfurt, Germany a woman decided it would be a good idea to sneak her cat aboard in her purse. Good work TSA! It turns out you can’t have an animal in the cabin without a proper carrier. So shortly after takeoff the flight crew decided to take the animal from her and put it in the bathroom. I guess trying to take a leak on an airplane isn’t a challenge enough, now they added an angry cat hissing at your balls.

Maybe we should make an airline just for crazy people?

As you can imagine the unidentified woman did not take kindly to having her kitty trapped in the bathroom for the rest of the flight. That’s when things took a nose dive, headed straight for crazy town. She allegedly punched a female flight attendant right in the face, and then began making bizarre threats that she was a member of the MAFIA and going to bring the plane down. Another passenger, Dashenka Giraldo told ABC News that,

 “She said that she was part of the mafia and that the mafia follows her around the world and that she was able to bring the plane down if that needed to be the case if she couldn’t see her cat.”

In response the captain called for assistance and two F-16 fighter jets were sent from Buckley Air Force Base in Colorado to escort the plane in for an emergency landing in Denver. To top it off, I’m hoping all those people headed to Germany enjoyed Denver instead, because that is where they spent the night in a hotel until the flight could continue to Frankfurt. Thanks crazy mafia cat lady!

Everyone knows that airlines have ZERO tolerance these days when it comes to unruly passengers and inflight meltdowns. There are a number of ways you can get yourself restrained and your flight diverted for an emergency landing. If you get drunk and pretend to be a soldier on his way to Afghanistan, if you get drunk and start viciously masturbating in front of everyone, if you are off your meds a and begin screaming for your savior, OR you are just an asshole and scream for the flight to land because an old lady took up your leg room. You will be arrested and not flying anywhere!

This brings us to my continuing effort to educate the airplane flying public about the three major rules to follow onboard a flight:

  1. Sit Down.
  2. Buckle Your Seat Belt
  3. Shut The Fuck Up.

This is a pretty scary story; however you want to know the REAL scary part? The FBI says that they did NOT arrest the woman and that it was “all part of a misunderstanding.” Oh. The old “give me my cat back or I’m going to blow up this plane because I’m in the mafia” misunderstanding that leads to a fighter jet escort to an emergency landing. We have all been there!  I know of a few arrested drunk masturbating dudes and screaming crazy ladies who would love to know how the Feds came to that decision…

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: ABC 7 Chicago