At no point in my moderately-long life have I ever believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny, or any other holiday-themed mascot. Yet as I sit here typing this, I still fully subscribe to the idea that driving with your cabin lights on is illegal, that super-round stones are actually fossilized dinosaur eggs and that if I fall asleep with my feet hanging off the bed at night, a crocodile will bite them off. Clearly those last three things are shockingly stupid, but when you get told stupid shit like that as a kid without an immediate correction, it’s hard to get it out of your head.
Which brings us to mall Santa meltdown lady:
Caught at a mall in Canada, this grown-ass woman has a 30+ second meltdown over the fact that Santa…isn’t real. That’s right – this woman has existed on this planet longer than I have and has somehow managed to go her entire life without anyone correcting her on whether or not a giant fat man comes down her chimney once a year to deliver gifts. Most countries would classify that as a form of home invasion, but to her it’s just “the holidays.” Were her parents sneaking into her house years after she moved out and dropping gifts labeled “From: SANTA” under her tree or something? I’d like to say her ignorance is mind-boggling, but there’s a growing number of people out there who think vaccines give you autism and that the world is flat. Sorry guys, but your kid is fucked because your genes are subpar at best and if the world were flat, we wouldn’t be able to do THIS:
...wait a second.