Three-Boobed Lady Steps Out of ‘Total Recall’; Is Total BS

Let it never be said that the world of journalism is perfect.  This story has been reported across the world, from the UK to Australia to all over America in what I would guess is well over 200 different news sources and I guarantee, I promise you, it’s completely fake.  It’s just not a real story.  But dammit if it isn’t awesome and who can fault a journalist for being so lazy as to report on something obviously fake when it sounds so sensational?  The very idea of journalism itself?  Personal integrity?  Bah.  Just read the story.

(Oh No! Click Here For “The Fappening 2.0”)

Her name is Jasmine Tridevil and she wants to be a reality TV star on MTV.  So she got a 3rd boob.  I wish we could just stop there and look at pictures, but we can’t, because there’s so much more to say.  First, she claims she had to call at least 50 doctors to find one to do it and it cost her $20,000.  That’s one pricey boob.

Tridevil also claims, inexcusably and bizarrely, she did it to be less attractive to men, apparently because she never saw Total Recall, which I don’t believe, or understand the one part that was so popular they included it in the remake was the three boobed girl because the idea of three boobs is great.

There’s some nipple there.

According to the stories, the surgeon who performed the operation wishes to remain anonymous due to ethics concerns and was also unable to construct an areola, so Tridevil had one tattooed on.  I’m not tattoo expert, but that does make me wonder how in this still frame from a video in which she’s answering questions, you can clearly see she has three nipples present. If she put a fake pokie in there, the question becomes why?  How much more attention do you necessarily need to draw to a 3rd boob, especially when you claim the goal of the boob is to be considered less attractive?  You want to attract less attention you should maybe be less ostentatious.

How do I know this story is fake when every news outlet is reporting it no questions asked?  First, I’m not an idiot.  Hard to believe, but when you tell me about a 3 boobed women, I raise an eyebrow.  Second, that tattooed nipple of hers sure seems suspicious.  Why is it somehow poking out there?  Third, have you ever in your life read anything about breast implants?  Even the most perfunctory and basic understanding of what they are?  A breast implant and an entire, surgically constructed breast are very different things.  To surgically create a new breast out of literally nothing and plop it where no breast has ever been would create a hell of a lot of scarring , not to mention how the tissue connects beneath the skin which would be stretched to the limit that close to two other breasts and be in danger of ripping and losing the implant all willy nilly beneath the skin.

If you look, her middle boob is a shrimpy little fella that sits between two larger ones, which may or may not be fake themselves though let’s through caution to the wind and say they are, yet it hangs with perfect cleavage and slope.  Also, she claimed the extra tissue came from her abdomen, then posts a video of herself in a bikini dancing to the Radiohead’s Freak.  An entire boob’s worth of tissue came off her abdomen and there’s not a single scar?  That’s either one masterful, unethical surgeon, or this is crap.

No scars there.

So how do I think the three boobed girl came to be?  Same way the one in Total Recall did.  That’s the exact same kind of prosthetic this girl is wearing, either as a PR stunt for herself, some surgeon or just a hoax.  Doesn’t really matter at this point.