Welfare State: Woman Claims Giant Boobs Force Her To Not Work, Takes Benefits

Come on Break: I know if we all put our heads together we can come up with a few job ideas for this nice young lady. Nim Murphy is a 27-year-old woman who says that because of her enormous, extremely large “12 double H” breasts she can no longer work and must be on welfare. I hope they make extra-large double H Bonbons for her.

She’s not not going to take this lying down.

Murphy, from Sydney, Australia says she was forced to quit working as a roadie, doing physical work loading equipment for rock bands due to the pain and discomfort her large lactation stations give her. For the past two and a half years she has been on welfare from the state. To her taxpayer money is the…. breast medicine.

She should call them “cash” and “money.”

Now if you thought that having titanic tatas was the way to get ahead in life, Murphy says it has been nothing but a medical nightmare. In addition to severe migraine headaches, shoulder and neck pain, her magnificent mammaries gave her a condition in which her spine curves forward. Ugh, that makes us want to vomit. Oh and she has that too:

“About two and a half years ago I had to call in sick because I got out the front door and started vomiting in my front yard just from the pain and so I had to stop working.”


She has a big case for that tiny violin.

Whenever you get into novelty sized fun bags, people start talking about the dreaded “breast reduction surgery.” However she has been unable to have her gargantuan globes reduced since she is not working has no private health insurance and can’t afford it.  Under Australia’s socialized public health care system, she could sign up and wait for years to get the necessary surgery to shave off a few cup sizes. Thanks Australian equivalent of Obama!

I think she needs to turn that frown upside down. We know that having gigantic jugs is really a blessing, not a curse. I think there are plenty of jobs out there for a woman with her “condition.” For instance she could be a model for birthday cards at Spencer’s gifts.

Back in the day this was solid work.

She could sign up to be paid to serve as someone’s human pillow.

This cat is a damn hero.

That way she can save enough money to… get that breast reduction surgery. However I think once she gets back to work, she will find a new and rewarding life, pulling herself up by her bootstraps or her lengthy bra straps and want to keep those fabulous flapjacks the way they are.

That is why I am reaching out to you the Break reader to let poor Miss Murphy know what job opportunities await her with those monster sweater muffins! What do you think she could do for work?


This girl is her own pillow!

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney