Woman Jailed After Claiming Jesus Was Going To Pay Her Mexican Restaurant Bill

A woman named Kristi Rhines in Lawton, Oklahoma, was hoping for some divine intervention when it came time to pay her bill at the El Chico Mexican restaurant. Lots of people try the old “dine and dash” when the check arrives, but this may be the first time someone has tried to “dine and pray.” After eating and drinking at the restaurant for several hours, Rhines told staff that her husband was on his way to pick up the tab and it wouldn’t be a problem. After all; she is married to Jesus Christ.

The Lord works in mysterious ways; like he might pick up the tab for your fajitas.

Normally, people get on their knees and pray for their credit card to go through, but this woman cut right to the chase. After consuming several alcoholic drinks and what I assume to be a delicious rice, bean and cheese based meal, she was not able to pay her tab. She deferred to her “legal husband” who she said she does not have a marriage certificate, claiming he would soon arrive and create American currency to cover the $56.55 she owed. Had her tab totaled $66.60, then this whole thing would make sense. She didn’t mention if he would also walk on salsa.

Well, the burritos at El Chico are heavenly.

Management at El Chico wasn’t about to wait around another two thousand years to see if he would return, so they decided to appeal to a lower authority; the local Lawton Police Department. When officers arrived, they had a calm conversation with Rhines who didn’t seem drunk or agitated. She nicely explained that she had no way to cover the bill, so they nicely arrested her and booked her at the Lawton City Jail for fraud.

Come on down and have a round of Tequila shots on JC!

While dining at Mexican restaurant, she may have gotten confused between Jesus – the Christ, and Jesus the 17-year-old bus boy cleaning her table. Although I think I’m going to try this the next time I go out for a bloomin’ onion. Meet my “wife,” the Hindu Goddess Durga. She always has an extra hand free to cover the cost of meals.

Go to Olive Garden and Buddha might buy you a beer. Go to Pizza Hut and get a bread stick from King Tut.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney