The following views are expressed from a guy we found who dislikes Star Wars (and why you should too).
Star Wars sucks.
It may be that I just couldn’t invest in the characters. Luke kissed Leia but now they’re siblings! HAN SHOT FIRST (much to Leia’s dismay)! Yoda talks funny and so does C-3PO! Blargh.
Most people see those two words (Star Wars) and a little bit of glee exudes from them. That glee may escape via a few sweat glands, their eyes growing bigger, or even a little squeal from their mouth. Some people even go so far as to start in on a long, years in the making statement about how awesome it is and everyone should love it.
Not me. I have watched the OG Trilogy, the versions before and after CGI, as well as the prequels. I saw the Ewoks movie and the Star Wars Christmas Special. I have played some of the video games. I even read some of the comics. I’m not going to say I hate Star Wars because that term is reserved for far better (worse?) things that deserve my ire. I’m not going to say that I loathe it because that means the feelings I have towards it are intense in nature. I dislike Star Wars.
The Fans Are To Blame For Ruining The Original Trilogy
I want you to try something. Go to Facebook, Twitter or any fan forum (hell, even a comment section on an article like this one or YouTube) where there are die hard Star Wars fans. Post that you like the Special Editions of the OG Trilogy over the original versions. Let the wave of hate wash over you. Ever since George Lucas decided to do some upgrades to the original trilogy of films the internet has been ripe with diatribes against the abomination that the man released. Add in that the original films without CGI are relegated to older technology and it’s damn near apocalyptic.
Let me get this out of the way: Lucas had every right to do whatever he wanted to his films. They were his and he could add any CGI he wished to make those films more in tune with his original vision. Now take a moment to come over here near the game consoles. What do you see? Yes, even the last generation of consoles. Look at the libraries of PS3/PS4 and Xboxes. Do you see a theme about some games lately?
Most Remasters/Remakes of video games have been accepted and praised as being wonderful because people can continue to play these games on new gen systems. The same fundamental issue is in focus here; both properties have been enhanced, upgradedand released for a new generation to experience yet Star Wars is the one that garners venomous hatred for having done this. And for this, the Star Wars fans are to blame for some of my annoyance toward the franchise. So thank you for that.
The Prequels Are Like Watching C-Span for 7 Straight Hours
Do you watch C-SPAN? I admit I have at times. The White House Correspondent’s Dinner is almost always amusing and sometimes laugh out loud, even when I don’t like who is in the POTUS office. Otherwise, C-SPAN is used for Congressional proceedings for the most part and it’s pretty, well, dull. I watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. It was a good movie with a great cast and drama that kept my attention. I was engaged. Not so much with the Galactic Senate hearings in Episode I. Those scenes, which probably seem longer than they really are, were incredibly out of place and out of pace with the universe we all knew. They brought the story to a grinding halt.
Though, again, Lucas can do as he wishes with his movies. However, I re-watched Episode I once and skipped all of the Galactic Senate scenes. Nothing of value was missed except…Jar Jar Binks. Yeah, that guy. That horribly racist character/caricature. His big moment, outside of annoying the hell out of everyone, was pretty much being the one to kickstart the Clone Wars. Good job, dickhead.
Characters That Drive Me Up The Wall
Anakin was whiney all the way through the prequels. Darth Maul, one of the better things to come out of that trilogy, and was killed off far too quickly. Luke’s Aunt and Uncle knew Luke had the Force in him but decided that, instead of training him to go to the Light Side, they’d just keep it from him because hiding things from an adopted child always works. And, oh, look, they’re dead by the hands of the Empire to give Luke a reason to leave Tatooine.
Serendipity or macguffin?
More About The Fans Because Really This Is All Your Fault
You. Yes, YOU. For those of us who are in geek culture? You suck. For those of us not? You blow. But don’t worry as it isn’t just you, it’s any fan who is so into this thing that it becomes them and their life. The mansplaining, nose looking down über fan who has to spend the next two hours explaining why their favorite thing is their favorite thing, and it should be yours too, is more annoying than erectile dysfunction ads. We get it, you like the things, but please refrain from taking up all of our time just because the things have taken up all of yours.
We don’t all have to like the same things at the same level, if at all. If someone expresses disinterest in the things gauge how they say it before leaping to the things defense. Read their body language; if they’re still walking then they don’t want to stop and have a discussion on the merits of using a Tauntaun to stay warm. Geekdom, and the sub-geekdoms within, have this problem of trying to browbeat people into liking something they like. I understand this as I was the kid growing up reading comics and getting massive amounts of shit for it. When Marvel films hit it big, I was (and still am) there with my money to watch each one even though I feel the pangs of “wait… I got shat on for liking this stuff and now the ‘cool’ kids get to enjoy liking this stuff too? WTF?!”
Please, stop trying to convert people. If a real life conversation happens naturally then speak upon the grandness of your geekdom but keep it in check. Don’t take all of someone’s time while trying to destroy their worldview because you don’t understand it. If you talk and listen, I guarantee you’ll get a lot better at the conversion process anyway. Trust me on this one.
A Possible Reason (Fans Aside)
All of the above may seem nitpicky (and probably will be to most die hard fans) and I will completely concede that notion. These reasons have been argued ad nauseum for years and aren’t going to be solved here. My real reason for disliking Star Wars is that I find it boring. This may be a time thing. I was born after the first film came out (but not too long after) and saw them for the first time on television.
I’m talking the kind of television that had rabbit ears and wasn’t always the correct color, the signal beamed via one of those six-foot-wide satellite dishes in what is now known as SD. Later in life I would see the films on a large SD TV, then an HDTV and even in a movie theater. Therefore, I missed the awe that comes from seeing that massive ship in the opening scene come across the screen for the first time and blowing everyone’s minds. I’d already watched Star Trek:TOS and ST:TNG by this time so a ship in space wasn’t anything new to me. I watched Spaceballs before Star Wars so light sabers weren’t anything spectacular. I was aware of the Nazi Regime in Germany during WWII (grandfather was a vet) so an Empire made out of fascists and boot stepping wasn’t new to me. In actuality, It may be that the story just didn’t grip me. The plot is limited to good vs bad in a very direct way. This is fine in old(er) Superman and Batman comics but for an epic film series? Bland. The real worrisome plot point of the OG Trilogy is whether Luke is going to join the Dark Side or the Light Side and at the point we get to it we all know he’s not going to the Dark Side.
On December 18th The Force Awakens is opening in theaters. People are already camping out waiting to see the film and I guarantee there are a lot of conversations happening in those lines between fans of varying interest levels. Someone in one of those lines is flopping their purple light saber onto the table and challenging someone else to a fan duel. Don’t be that guy. Not just because of everything above, but because no matter what galaxy you’re in, no one wants to see your purple light saber. I’m not going to shit on someone’s love for these films. You’re free to love whatever you wish however you wish and I’m not going to stop you. I ask that you take a moment and realize that not everyone is going to love it or at the same intensity level. Realize that some of us aren’t going to like it at all no matter, or perhaps because of, how much you try to change that.
Chill, enjoy your thing, and if you are lucky enough to get an unconverted to go with you, allow them to experience it for themselves instead of trying to apply your worldview upon theirs.
Written by @SpiderMann