5 Reasons Why Comic-Con Isn’t As Cool As You Think

Hey, I love the idea of Comic-Con and am a little interested to see what comes out of it year after year. I’ve even been to the convention, attending a few panels in Hall H. It was kinda fun, mainly because I was with the right fun group of friends.  So really, staying the night in a homeless shelter probably could’ve been fun, too. But now that a few years have passed and Comic-Con has grown much larger, the hype is bigger and the internet’s appetite for new information is crazier, Comic-Con has become a fat man who can’t let go of his size 32 waist jeans. Let me explain.

#5: The first reason is an obvious one. It’s too damn crowded and the lines are too damn long.

That’s about 2% of that line we’re seeing in the above photo. Unfortunately, they don’t make a camera lens wide enough to capture everyone, but you get the idea. These people have probably been sitting there waiting for most of the entire day. Hall H is one of the more popular rooms at the convention where only the top panels attend including Avengers 2, Batman VS. Superman and Sin City 2. Long story short, Comic-Con is roughly a four day affair and you’re going to waste most of your one day sitting in this line in the San Diego summer heat just so you could watch a panel for about 20 minutes. Now that may sound a little bit of a downer way to put it, but it’s the truth. And don’t think for a second you could continue sitting in your chair until the next panel starts. Nope. You’re ushered out so the next group of people can come in for the next one.

Okay, you think waiting in line for a couple of hours to see Robert Downey Jr. isn’t all that bad, that’s fair. You’re a fan, I get it. But here’s where the fat man metaphor comes in. The crowd is literally everywhere, even on the streets. The convention is busting out at the seams. You can barely get around the convention center, let alone find a restaurant without another line to deal with. In fact, one San Diego driver couldn’t stand waiting around for a moment to finally get through, and decided to literally drive over a group of people doing a zombie walk. Now that’s pretty bad.

Long story short, I think it’s time to find a fatter venue. Those sweat pants are getting a little tight.

#4: Cool! Free swag! And by swag, they mean junk.

If you’re not paying $50 for a figurine, comic or some other rarity, there is the free stuff that you get when attending various booths, and of course the Comic-Con bag everyone will get simply because you paid the fee to get in. Don’t the words ‘free swag’ sound pretty cool? Unfortunately there’s a reason why it’s all free. It’s all just junk. Comics you won’t ever read, buttons you’ll never wear, lanyards you have zero use for, postcard thingys advertising ABC’s new show coming this fall. Not trying to be negative, but it’s literally junk. The year I attended, I got a free set of The Spirit posters. Later on, I realized how terrible of a movie it was and sold the poster set for $5 bucks.

This young lady below didn’t even want her swag and was giving it all away!

So when you hear of all the cool free stuff people are getting when attending the convention, this is it right here.

#3: Cosplayers. The sea sirens of Comic-Con.

It’s true, most dudes have one goal in mind, and that’s to find the cosplayers they have been following on the internet in hopes of striking of some weirdo real-life friendship, but the truth of the matter is female cosplayers are either on the batty side or just plain illegal.  That’s right, the cosplayer you’re in love with says she’s 20, but really, she’s 16-years-old.

Mai Shiranui from the Fatal Fury and The King of Fighters series is a popular character for well-gened women to portray, but unfortunately for you, model Lan Fanghueng is very much illegal and only 16-years-old. It’s a shame Comic-Con isn’t 21+ so really if you are that guy, you’re better off staying home instead of trying to check these ladies out in person. Pervert.

#2: Handing over cash for a Comic-Con ticket is easy! Registering is not.

If you want to go to Comic-Con, you better plan ahead. Way ahead. Like for months. Not only do the tickets sell out in record time, but registering for a ticket is no easy task either. Comic-Con has made that abundantly clear. Next thing you know, you forgot to try to register again and they’re all sold out.  Fuuuuuu–.

Nothing like being told to not refresh a page or you’ll be put to the back of the line, and in the same breath be told it’s sold out.  These tweets all happened in the same day. Who’s excited?!

#1: The internet will reveal everything cool anyway.

Comic-Con was the internet before the internet. It was where you went to get new information on upcoming movies, comics, etc before the internet had any idea that Comic-Con was a major source for anticipated updates. Now, movie studios are prone to release whatever they can to get on top of the hype for that week, saving little for the Comic-Con crowd. Who needs Comic-Con when you have 2 million followers on Twitter?!  I think it’s hilarious when online journalists try to cover the event, immediately sharing anything and everything they see. Unfortunately, the 40 other online journalists from other sites are covering the event as well. And posting the same exact thing.

Probably the biggest news that wasn’t saved for Comic-Con was what Ben Affleck looked like as Batman. Zack Snyder tweeted out the image about a month prior when really he should’ve saved it for the convention because that’s what people crave when they go. Instead, Comic-Con attendees saw a picture of Wonder Woman, which no one cared nearly as much about.

And with that said, all of it hits the internet immediately anyway after any reveal Comic-Con could possibly offer (even footage which immediately gets leaked anyway like the Deadpool short.). The moment anything is announced in front of a crowd of people who paid an arm and a leg for tickets, lodging, food and gas, the folks sitting comfortably at home literally got the same information at the exact same time.

And really no sneak peak footage that you might have caught beats that Mad Max: Fury Road trailer that immediately hit after getting revealed at Comic-Con anyway. I personally wouldn’t put the effort into all that is Comic-Con just to see the first 2 minutes of the new Gotham show.

It’s like the Comic-Con attendees simply have faster internet than the rest of us. We’ll get to watch it too about five minutes later after it loads.

Don’t get me wrong, if you gave me a free ticket I’d probably check out the convention again with the right group of people to go with. Comic-Con is a decent time if you’ve never been and are just looking to experience something popular on a grand scale. It’s certainly a spectacle. But at the end of the day, let’s just call a spade a spade. Comic-Con is just not what it used to be now that the internet has caught up.

Follow me at @Todd_Spence