Not all people are meant to be rocket scientists the same way not all people are meant to be parents.
Take these classy people, for instance:
In what I can only imagine to be a backwater Alabama forest where moms bone their sons and everyone has at least 11 toes, the above video shows two girls getting into a fist fight while one girl’s parents cheer her on. Classy, right? Why join the school PTA and bake cookies for fundraisers when you can scream at your daughter to “BEAT HER ASS” in the middle of a white trash beat down. Cookies are overrated, but a mean left hook can come in handy.
But I’m not the only one who thinks it’s weird that Mama June and Kid Rock came to cheer on their precious little angel in her first ever brouhaha, as the blonde girl stops at one point and asks the question on everyone’s mind: “Why do you have all these parents with you?”
Probably because brownie’s losing this fight and needed at least one person nearby standing at the ready with kisses and Band-Aids. Also, because apparently “Nicole” (or at least that’s what it sounds like her mom calls her in the video) has trouble following through with things and needs constant affirmation and encouragement to keep going. Or that’s at least the best logic I can come up with, considering her mom tells her “Don’t stop or I’m beatin’ yo ass” in the middle of the fight.
I’m calling it: T-minus two years until at least three people involved here are arrested for incest or meth, and one year until brunette pops out some poor bastard baby, names him “Jaxson” and starts homeschooling him about how the earth is flat and that Bojangles is better than Popeye’s.
(Side note: it is 2017. It is time to stop filming shit on portrait mode using a broken yam from the 1980’s, please.)
Is Bojangles better than Popeye’s? Tell us why not in the comments!