When Your Brand New Kitten Takes A Massive Dump On Your Chest And You Can’t Keep It Together

They say that cats are really just Satan’s children come to shed everywhere and flip us off while not contributing to any of the utilities – and after watching this video, I can’t exactly disagree. This little girl got all excited to bring home her brand new kitten, and instead of it being the little snuggle buddy she was looking for it turned out to be a turd machine. Better get used to it kid; life is generally just one big disappointment to the next until you die.

And while we’re all sitting here and laughing at this girl, it’s not like any of us are exactly lining up to get covered in cat shit either. Mom whipped out her phone to take a video instead of taking the cat, and dad sure is taking his goddamn time pulling over to the shoulder so they can de-poop their daughter. Stupid girl could’ve just bumped the cat to the floor and dumped everything out of the window while the car was still moving, but nooooo, instead we have to be dramatic about a little bit of poop. Life is full of shit, kid – cat shit, your boss’ shit, your boyfriend’s shit – might as well get cozy with it.

Oh, and before I forget – can we talk about how big these turds are in the first place?

One of those is almost as big as that cat. The fuck are they feeding them down at the pound? If pet quality is determined by the size of their dumps, truly, this family picked a winner.

[H/T Thrillist]