Americans Are The Best (Or Worst) At Naming Babies

What’s in a name?  According to Social Security records, there are currently 328 people in America, mostly girls, named Abcde.  That’s not a word, by the way.  That’s the alphabet.  But still, 328 people were so taken by the beginning of the alphabet song, they saddled their progeny with it.  And that makes you wonder, if people are willing to name their kids after the alphabet, just what the hell else is happening out there?  We went to the database to find out!

  • In 2013 there were 241 babies named Khaleesi which, of course, is the title of a character from Game of Thrones.  Not even her name, her title.
  • Sticking with Game of Thrones, 11 girls were named Sansa
  • 5 boys will henceforth be known as Siranthony.  As in Sir Anthony Hopkins perhaps, except it’s all one word.
  • The 5 boys named Precious will probably have nothing nice to say about their parents.
  • Willing to beat up the boys named Precious will be the 10 Kids named Dragon, the 5 named Drago, the 5 named Edge and the other 5 named Draconis.  Because their parents were hardcore.  The 43 named Blade will team up and destroy them all, however.
  • 5 kids named Deuce are going to have either very good lives or very bad ones.
  • Angel Jesus was tagged to 5 kids, who seem to have a lot to live up to.
  • 17 girls are stuck with Katniss (and idiot parents) while inexplicably 2296 boys got named Gael.  It’s not the same as Hunger Games Gale, but it’s something.
  • 893 boys were named Archer, and don’t believe it wasn’t because of the TV show.
  • 120 boys were named Rowdy, after the great Roddy Piper
  • Lenny gets 114 while Carl gets 438.  Must be a Walking Dead booster.  Homer only came in with 19.
  • 5 unfortunate young ladies are named Tuba.  Possibly the least feminine of all the brass instruments.
  • 5 girls a piece can lay claim to Trezure, Sunshyne, Temprince, Ransom, Prezleigh, Memoree, Mahagony, Jezabell, Jezebell and Jezebella.
  • There are 5 girls from 2013 named Australia. 
  • There are 11 girls named Tzippy, which is kind of awesome.
  • 48 girls have the bad ass name Katana, and 51 got the Mortal Kombat spelling of Kitana.
  • Place names, spelled correctly or not, are still popular with 3430 named London, 1934 named Londyn, 215 named Londynn, 62 named Lundyn, 38 named Londen, 17 named Lundon, 14 named Lundynn, 12 named Londin,12 named Lunden,  9 named Londan, 5 named Londonn.  You don’t even want to know about the different ways to spell Brooklyn.
  • The most popular names, incidentally, were Sophia at 21,000 and Noah at 18,000.



Can we learn anything from how we name our kids?  No.  it looks like some parents could do with more learning before they name kids.  That said, there’s still a handful of insanely bad ass names out there,like those 94 kids named Thor .  Let’s hope that keeps going in the future to ensure we’re not stuck with an abundance of people named after fictional characters and misspelled towns.  Or the alphabet.