1,500 people are actually running for the highest position in the world. And some of them are bringing a whole new brand of crazy… Becoming a candidate isn’t that difficult. You just have to fill out a form. Be 35-years-old. And be a natural-born citizen that has lived in the States for at least 14 years.
Who the hell comes up with these numbers? While I’m not going to list all 1,500 candidates here, I am going to provide you with some of the greatest crazies that are throwing their hat(s) into the ring this year. Enjoy.
1. Matthew Tyler
Tough thing is, Tyler is 31. You have to be 35 to run for President and Tyler is hoping that President Obama will reverse the law on that.
“We elected an African-American so I thought it was time to have the first underage candidate,” he said.
Yeah, because that’s the same. He also said he is a “Renaissance man” and has given himself a PhD., M.D. and J.D. Oh, and that his mind works like a computer.
He also supports full-service gas stations. So there’s that.
This man changed his name to “Santa”. Legally. So if you want Santa Roy Clark as your Commander in Chief, then write in his name come Election Day. He was born on Chistmas and said that he changed his first name to Santa last September because he “wanted to have the Christmas spirit all the time.”
He also said he’ll name his cat as the Vice President. To top it off Santa Roy Clark a big hit on YouTube, so vote away…
3. Andrew Basiago
This candidate claims to have participated in time travel and teleportation. He’s a lawyer, but the first fact I mentioned probably cancels the lawyer thing out.
“I was forced to overcome personal limitations coping with new, dangerous, and experimental activities,” Basiago said. “At the same time, I was given an understanding of the trajectory of secret technical development by the US government.”
And he wasn’t done: “This gave me a glimpse of the future, one in which teleportation is the principal modality of human transport and has transformed global society for the better.”
4. Darwin Misha Reedy
She says she’d put Donald Trump in charge of the economy.
“He’s a good businessman. He’s promising positive change, but I am more specific,” Darwin Misha Reedy said.
Reedy is currently unemployed but wants to make bodycams mandatory for police officers. Oh, and she also auditioned on “American Idol” and “The X Factor”. And she feels that has prepped her for the presidential stage.
“I learned to be more assertive, and got experience talking before large groups,” she said. “Plus, I can accept criticism.”
5. Vermin Supreme
Vermin is a registered Republican and Anarchist who wants to make sure all citizens of the United States get a free pony. Obviously.
Oh, and he wants the U.S. to finally do some time travel research (why does that keep coming up this year???) and be more aware of the Zombie Apocalypse.
So do you recognise Vermin? You should. He’s been running for office sine 1998. The little crazy engine that could.
Plus, he wears a boot on his head. Lead us, Fearless Leader.
6. Deonia Neveu
Neveu wants to give you the keys to the White House… as she states on her Twitter account, which is also her campaign website.
She also doesn’t grasp foreign policy too well, so that is worrisome for someone seeking to be in charge of the U.S. of A. Just saying…
7. John McAfee
Yeah, the anti-virus software guy.
From the horse’s mouth: “This opportunity to enter a clown show dressed as and acting like the people who are actually suffering in this country. Trust me, I’ll have no problem whatsoever winning this election.”
Which is why none of us have heard of him as a candidate…
But he goes on: “When I travel, I’m constantly stopped by people asking for photos. I’m not tooting my own horn, but I have the ability to reach the people. They will listen because I have a checkered background and I may say something interesting.”
So selfies with strangers on the resume is a good thing? Updating mine now…
He also kinda’, sorta’, maybe have murdered his neighbor.
God bless America.
Source: Huffington Post