We don’t have Waffle House here in the cultural backwater of Los Angeles, so all I know of this down-South institutional greasy spoon I’ve gleaned from rap and YouTube videos. As I understand it, though its name would lead you to believe it’s known for waffles, Waffle House’s true métier is hash browns and public brawls.
To wit: this video shot at 2:45 a.m in Pennsylvania. We’ve got all the ingredients of a classic viral melee vid: someone shouting “Worldstar,” those overhead windmill hair-grabs favored by female combatants, indecipherable exhortations, and, dammit, vertical filming. At one point it sounds like someone’s screaming “Get off my lawn!” but it’s actually “Get off my mom”; the five fighters arrested after the cops arrived are all related. Their names are Deborah, Tyneisha, Latonia, Mercedes, and Tonisha. No, I am not making that up.
If you’ve yet to get your fill of Waffle House fisticuffs, here’s a platter:
“Worldstar” is screamed about seventy-five times in this video, which, if you watch the video, is the appropriate amount of time to scream “Worldstar”:
Entitled customers are always throwing their weight around:
This one is notable simply for not beginning halfway through the fight; we get to glimpse the incomprehensible exchange that prompts it:
In the interest of adding some much-needed diversity:
You can consider this one a work of art since a Hieronymus Bosch painting breaks out at the one minute mark:
The couple in the booth is the under-the-radar star here:
It’s not shocking to see the employees fight considering how insanely stressful it must be to work here:
Hey, you know what I just realized? A lot of people get into fights at Waffle House:
Okay, this is an edited Vine, but it perfectly summarizes what YouTube would lead you to believe the Waffle House experience is like: