Video Breakdown: BabyMetal

We watched this video, had a staff meeting, consulted a pet psychic and now we’re pretty confident we know what was going on.  In an effort to assist you, we’ll now try to explain the whole thing because Japan.  On with the show!


So the band is called Baby Metal and the song is called Headbanger and it’s a Japanese girl band.  Alright.  How weird could it be?

0:00:  Why sailor uniforms, Japan?  Anyone have an answer for that?

0:09: See, that’s a bad sign, everyone in her family is that girl from the Ring and/or the girl from the Grudge.  Or just any Japanese horror movie girl.

0:22: She prayed for box.  No comment.

0:26: It appears to be a dirty box.

0:33:  None of us were expecting that.

0:46: Oh God, she’s having a seizure, the neck brace is possessed!

1:10: Lip gloss is the secret to making Norwegian Black Metal.  You heard it here first.

1:19:  There’s more girls?  And one has pigtails and is in a corset?  Well, the plot thickens.

1:29:  Don’t move.  If you don’t move she can’t see you.

2:10: They are now worshipping their Dark Lord, who may or may not be a Power Rangers villain.

2:20: Neck Braces for Jesus was a poorly planned charity at best.

2:29:  Here’s where the meds wore off and the guitar had to compensate.

3:29: Is that Jesus with a bullet belt?

4:15: Aaaaaaaand she’s spent.

4:30-4:54: Please enjoy almost a half minute of literally nothing.