We finally can put this iPhone 6 issue to rest. It’s not overly aggressive phone users, too tight skinny jeans, corporate sabotage or faulty production and poor craftsmanship. It’s none of those things! It’s just magic. Just massive, mind-powered magic. Duh.
Uri Geller, infamous fraudulent psychic and fraudulent magician known for his fraudulent act of fraudulently bending spoons with the help of fraudulent mind powers he doesn’t really have has come forward to explain why the iPhone 6 bends, because if anyone understands the science of bending, it’s the guy who, for about 40 years, has been pretending to bend things with magical powers despite being outed as a fraud in front of a live audience on the Tonight Show back in 1973.
This is what Geller had to say on the matter. ““Either the phone is so seriously thin and flimsy that it is bendable with mere physical force, which I cannot believe given the extensive tests Apple would have done. Or — and this is far more plausible — somehow the energy and excitement of the 10 million people who purchased iPhones has awakened their mind powers and caused the phones to bend.”
Once you’re done giggling, you can see he even gives the reason the rest of us would think is legit, and then claims the more plausible answer is somehow magical powers. As a point of interest, Geller has spent four decades pretending to bend spoons. During his 1973 appearance on the Tonight Show, famed skeptic and magician James Randi advised Carson to not let Geller use his own props, but instead supply him with untouched yet perfectly normal every day items. Geller choked like a chicken at an all boy’s school and failed miserably, the reason being his spoon bending trick relies entirely on him using spoons he’s prepared ahead of time. You can do the same thing yourself, just get a spoon and start bending it. It’ll be hard to do at firts, but bend the end back and forth until the metal softens enough that it barely requires any effort. Then straight it out. Now you can bend it around like a wet noodle and if no one saw you prepare it, you’ll look pretty damn magical, too.
That simple instruction is the entire secret to Uri Geller’s forty year and multi-million dollar career, which should make you feel somewhat frustrated and let down by life. It should also make you really want to consider if the iPhone 6 is being bent by the collective mind power of people who line up to buy iPhones or maybe if it could somehow be the result of a multi-billion dollar technology company that farms its labor our to sweatshops in China so its super expensive products can be made as cheaply as possible. Which one really sounds more plausible?
In recent years, Geller has been forced to acknowledge he’s an “illusionist” rather than a magician as he claimed for so long, because that appearance on the Tonight Show was resurrected on the internet and people were again able to see that fail and his many other televised fails. In the past, you had to see it or miss it and he could continue lying to audiences and pretending he had otherworldly powers. Nowadays, people like James Randi, Penn and Teller and even Criss Angel regularly out fake magicians who claim that what they do involves anything more than sleight of hand and trickery because that’s all these acts are and all they have ever been. Any magician claiming otherwise, as these professional and successful magicians know, is a lying bag of crap. Like Uri Geller!
Or maybe Geller is right. Maybe he really does bend spoons like the Matrix kid and everyone’s skinny jeans are full of psychic potential. Feel free to decide for yourself.