UPDATE: This Is How Break Editor Mark Will Get An iPad

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Mar. 21, 2013

THIS IS HAPPENING APRIL 1, 2013 AT 2pm PST. READ FOR MORE DETAILS!

A while back, I asked for suggestions on what I had to do to receive a free iPad from my boss. And, boy, did the Break audience respond.

Before we get into what I will do (and if I really will do it), let's take a look at some of the more interesting suggestions.

Brandon-Cofield-730 wrote: Have your boss select his favorite cartoon character and get a tattoo of said character in the location of his choosing. (My suggestion is to have the character drinking semen. You brought it up).

This is a good one, Brandon, and you found a way around my "no semen" rule. That's double creative points for you. Luckily, this suggestion did not win because I would probably have pussed out.

This how I would have looked with my boss's favorite character.

 

DirectOrDie said "Get hidden video of you throwing a temper tantrum in an Apple store because your boss won't buy you one. If you could flail on the ground that would be nice...."

We were actually hoping this one would win because it would have made for a pretty great video. Plus, my temper tantrums are hot, yo.

 

Cool-Jon-1 suggested "Create a Contest on Break where we the viewers can win a contest to meet one of the hot chicks in one of the videos (you have to figure out how to get her) and have a dinner with them."

Yeah, because that wouldn't be awkward or creepy. You, with your erection, sitting across from a hot chick who really doesn't want to be there anyway. Besides, all the ladies are usually eating dinner with me. And by "eating dinner" I mean "kissing privates."

 

Pyrotechnic101 said "Make a video where you kick you boss in the balls and have him hand you the money and thank you after."

My boss had an issue with this. I didn't. Needless to say, we agreed to disagree.

 

Hamandcheese exclaimed "Eat a bowl of dicks then post it on you tube."

What kind of dicks? Before I would have agreed to this, I would have needed to know which species of dicks I would be ingesting because there are quite a few kinds on my "never eat a bowl of" list.

 

But Meje's suggestion was the winner: "Take all of the food challenges in order - a tablespoon of cinnamon, then eating 3 ghost chilis, and then finish off the trifecta with bananas and sprite (ya know, so you get to enjoy the chilis twice...) - and to be clear, this is in one continuous video, not an edited "do it over 3 days" thing."

Well, shit. My first instinct is to say no because this is going to suck. I will look pathetic! I'll be vomiting, crying, and my face will be all fat and red. My pride is worth more than this!

Then I laughed and decided I'd do it! Why not? It's a free iPad and it doesn't seem that bad.

Well f**k me. Okay, this will suck, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!

On April 1, 2013, I will run this food eating gauntlet, probably fail hard, but receive a nice, crisp, new iPad (I've been guaranteed it will be new. It could be a new old one, which would suck but hey, touché).

Join us on Break at 2pm for this masterpiece of failure and magic! F**k it! We're doing it live! 

-Mark @marksingletree

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56 comments
barronphil
barronphil User

looking back on technology... what would you have done in 90 for a gameboy??? Kinda seems foolish... speaking only in hindsight. My iPod does not seem worth the suffer... they'll be sellin them at evey department store for $100 by next Christmas because the new will have replaced... hence google glass etc. Eat the iPod :) then I will be impressed.

barronphil
barronphil

looking back on technology... what would you have done in 90 for a gameboy??? Kinda seems foolish... speaking only in hindsight. My iPod does not seem worth the suffer... they'll be sellin them at evey department store for $100 by next Christmas because the new will have replaced... hence google glass etc. Eat the iPod :) then I will be impressed.

TacoLoco
TacoLoco User

i wanna see cinnamon girl and ghost pepper boy make a porno. she should rub cinnamon all over her lady parts and he should rub ghost pepper all over his man tool. then they should make love and see who is the first to cry uncle. it will go down in history as the greatest challenge ever attempted.

TacoLoco
TacoLoco

i wanna see cinnamon girl and ghost pepper boy make a porno. she should rub cinnamon all over her lady parts and he should rub ghost pepper all over his man tool. then they should make love and see who is the first to cry uncle. it will go down in history as the greatest challenge ever attempted.

Hoofster
Hoofster

Don't you have an off to fukk dikk tree?

11FLTRU
11FLTRU User

I'd make Mark spell check all of his staff's posts for a month without errors before I'd give him an Ipad.

11FLTRU
11FLTRU

I'd make Mark spell check all of his staff's posts for a month without errors before I'd give him an Ipad.

Meje
Meje User

Hey, do I get a free iPad too? I'll even take a mini....

Meje
Meje

Hey, do I get a free iPad too? I'll even take a mini....

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar User

If you die from cinnamon clouding your lungs, the ghost peppers closing your throat, and ultimately the banana lodging in and cutting off your air, how about giving the ipad to the top comment of that video????

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

If you die from cinnamon clouding your lungs, the ghost peppers closing your throat, and ultimately the banana lodging in and cutting off your air, how about giving the ipad to the top comment of that video????

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar User

You better show some ID in the vid too. Don't want someone hired to take the fall for ya, puss!

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

You better show some ID in the vid too. Don't want someone hired to take the fall for ya, puss!

D1BonGo
D1BonGo

Great, another April fools joke.

smoke1383
smoke1383 User

It's probably going to be a video of Mark saying "April Fools"...and then he would he that bowl of dicks

smoke1383
smoke1383

It's probably going to be a video of Mark saying "April Fools"...and then he would he that bowl of dicks

warrioricp
warrioricp

Johnny Bravo would make for a nice tat! Oh can that be Extra Crispy ipad? lol

warrioricp
warrioricp

Johnny Bravo would make for a nice tat! Oh can that be Extra Crispy ipad? lol

DReaMReaVeR
DReaMReaVeR User

Let him do all that sh!t and tell him april fools at the end. LOL

DReaMReaVeR
DReaMReaVeR

Let him do all that sh!t and tell him april fools at the end. LOL

John-Pryor-21
John-Pryor-21 User

If its real, how about choosing a day that isnt April Fools? Kind of lame

John-Pryor-21
John-Pryor-21

If its real, how about choosing a day that isnt April Fools? Kind of lame

KKTPP
KKTPP

on april fools day? I hope they punk you first with a swift kick in the nadz.. then u can eat your pepper lunch \m/

KKTPP
KKTPP

on april fools day? I hope they punk you first with a swift kick in the nadz.. then u can eat your pepper lunch \m/

Ausifed
Ausifed User

Want some pointers on how to with the Cinnamon Challege? Apparently you can't link back to break in the comments...interesting... usercontent/2012/4/9/cinnamon-challenge-win-2316750

Ausifed
Ausifed

Want some pointers on how to with the Cinnamon Challege? Apparently you can't link back to break in the comments...interesting... usercontent/2012/4/9/cinnamon-challenge-win-2316750

Hoofster
Hoofster User

He says it's going down April 1st. Prepare to get punked break users. This is gonna end up all ghey

Hoofster
Hoofster

He says it's going down April 1st. Prepare to get punked break users. This is gonna end up all ghey

ZeroOrDie
ZeroOrDie User

i knew what he meant...i guess i'm just not an idiot.

smoke1383
smoke1383 User

Sorry *eat..he would eat that bowl of dicks.

ZeroOrDie
ZeroOrDie

i knew what he meant...i guess i'm just not an idiot.

smoke1383
smoke1383

Sorry *eat..he would eat that bowl of dicks.

Penny-Jobs-881
Penny-Jobs-881

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jabin325
jabin325

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IpsoFacto
IpsoFacto User

Yeah Break.com has an editor! I have to say he / she is pretty good too. Funny content only slips by and makes it to the front page about 1 - 2 times per month. That's a pretty good success ratio.........#BREAKFAIL

IpsoFacto
IpsoFacto

Yeah Break.com has an editor! I have to say he / she is pretty good too. Funny content only slips by and makes it to the front page about 1 - 2 times per month. That's a pretty good success ratio.........#BREAKFAIL

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar User

Too late, you only get one shot. Now we all know you are a dumbass. Seriously, though, you'd think you could get an Edit button around here, but that would be doing Mark's job.

DoucheVadar
DoucheVadar

Too late, you only get one shot. Now we all know you are a dumbass. Seriously, though, you'd think you could get an Edit button around here, but that would be doing Mark's job.

Hoofster
Hoofster User

Don't you have an off to fukk dikk tree?

Mark-Potts
Mark-Potts moderator

It's not my job to help the audience not appear stupid in comments.

Mark-Potts
Mark-Potts

It's not my job to help the audience not appear stupid in comments.

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