They call it a Bio Bus for PR reasons, but the new 40 seat bus running between Bristol airport and Bath City Center runs on poop. Most companies aren’t big on using info like that in their name. Even though Poo Bus would be a great name. Or Butt Bus. Or the Dump Truck. That’s a good one.
The bus runs on methane generated from sewage and food waste treatment and can travel 186 miles on a single tank, which isn’t too bad. How much crap do you need to run it? All the crap that 5 people can make in a year. Only 5! You and your family could be running a bus right now.
The average bus rider would be able to make the bus travel 37 miles on a year’s worth of nasty, which may not seem like a lot, but consider how much crap we produce as a society – there’s over 300 million people in America. We could be running fleets of buses 24 hours a day and still have crap leftover.
The upside to this kind of technology is that it’s pretty cheap, because humans have yet to find a way to market poop for very high prices, and it’s environmentally friendly, especially when compared to traditional fuel. When a normal bus belches fumes into the air they’re toxic. When this one does so, it’s a fart.
The other benefit to a poop bus is that, if you’re feeling like giving the bus driver some crap (so to speak) because he refuses to talk to you while the bus is in motion, there are numerous hilarious names you could use on him;
- Ass Master
- Crap Captain
- Heiny Helmsman
- Dookie Director
- Diarrhea Driver
- Number 2 navigator
- Plop Jockey
- Chocolate Chauffeur
- Colon Commander
And that’s just to start. You wouldn’t believe how many immature synonyms for poop there are out there.
If you’re not down with juvenile joke making then, you know, it’s still nice about the environmentally friendly thing. Look on the bright side of things. No need to be negative.