Just How Hungry Do You have To Be To Pull A Hot Pocket Heist?

Imagine being the hungriest you’ve ever been.  Famished.  Starving.  On Death’s doorstep if you don’t get a morsel to eat soon.  But you have no money, and no food.  What would you do?  In this case, theft may be a justifiable option.  A man who steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving children may not be a criminal at all.  However, if you steal Hot Pockets, there is no justification. That’s just insane.

Three people tried to pull off the heist of a decade in Huntsville, Alabama. They weren’t stealing money, gold or jewels. They were after the bane of Jim Gaffigan and GI tracts everywhere, Hot Pockets… and they also snapped into some Slim Jims to boot.

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The trio attempted to rob the Holiday Foods grocery store. They ran out with a cart full of Hot Pockets and Slim Jim and while doing so, body slammed the manager unconscious. Because nothing comes between them and their frozen snack foods and processed meat products.  When the meat frenzy comes over a person, it’s fierce and it’s all-consuming.

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Nearby construction workers chased the robbers, but they split up. One woman escaped in a car and another man ran to a church. This is when things got serious because they called on the Huntsville Police Department SWAT team to take these perps down.

They found 18-year-old Deionte Thompson outside of the church in a child-sized playhouse and arrested him. They also found the other two unnamed 17-year-old female Hot Pocket thieves and arrested them before they could actually swallow any Hot Pocket filling and end it all, thus avoiding prosecution.

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They were charged with second-degree burglary. The male was taken to jail, while the females were taken to a detention center where they probably don’t serve Hot Pockets or Slim Jims.