Trampoline Accident Videos: Saget Not Included

blawsome by blawsome on Dec. 03, 2014

WHAT ARE MY CHANCES OF SEEING SOME GOOD TRAMPOLINE ACCIDENT VIDEOS?

I’m not a betting man so I won’t give you exact odds, but I’d say your chances for such a thing are strong if you have the interest to read this blog post. That’s because I’ve compiled some of the best, funniest, and most entertaining trampoline accident videos in this space for your viewing pleasure – and if you’re thinking of getting your family a trampoline this Christmas (or any time of year), well, maybe you should watch a couple of these videos first.

We’ll start things off with a video from 2007, which has the added visual component of a nice, healthy-looking tree for one of our heroes to bounce into. Although it looks painful, it’s probably a good thing that tree was there, to break the kid’s fall and everything. Physics!

That video might trick you into thinking all trampoline accidents take place in suburban backyards, but don’t be fooled: Some of them take place in French gymnasiums. The gym in question can be seen in the video below, as well as the gymnast who took one wrong bounce and ended up spread out on the floor. Ouch, hope he’s OK.

There really isn’t any sense in denying it, though: The vast majority of trampoline accidents take place in suburban backyards. It’s not because people in the suburbs aren’t as skilled in trampoline usage as their more metropolitan counterparts, it’s just that people in high-rise apartments or small city homes don’t have the room for a spacious trampoline. Whoever owns the trampoline in the video below, though, must have had plenty of room for one, and I bet this kid wishes they hadn’t. Or at least he wished that right after he knocked his teeth around on the rim of the trampoline. See it for yourself:

HOW ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE AMBITIOUS?

The American spirit is all about combining things with other things – like peanut butter and chocolate or Keenan and Kel. And the art of the trampoline accident has examples of this within its history as well, like the invention from the three heroic children seen in the video below. They combined a trampoline with a basketball net and then attempted what could have been the most impressive slam dunk of all time – ah, what am I saying, it is the most impressive slam dunk of all time. Check it out:

Even though the trampoline accident depicted above has an unusual element to it, cinematographically it’s pretty paint-by-numbers. But this next video blows the usual form apart, thanks to a little gadget known as a GoPro. Trouble is, that radical formalism also makes it a little tough to tell what’s going on, but hopefully you’ll be able to get the gist of it. If not, it’s only 18 seconds long, so you can watch it as many times as required. Here it is:

OK, ENOUGH WITH THE CAMERA EXPERIMENTS, I WANT TO SEE MORE CLASSIC TRAMPOLINE ACCIDENT VIDEOS.

I agree with you – a little bit of that avant-garde stuff goes a long way. And I have a video that will wash the taste of that right out of your mouth, because they don’t get much more classic-style than this. Maybe the most entertaining thing about it is its unusually long buildup – where most trampoline accidents seem to happen within a second or two of the camera getting turned on, in this one we get to see the guy actually use the trampoline successfully for 10 or 15 seconds before he ends up eating it. Which, as you’re about to see, just makes it that much more satisfying:

But even if that video wasn’t straightforward enough for you, this next one will almost definitely do the trick. This is like Trampoline Accident Videos for Dummies, complete with helpful text captions so you always know what’s going on, and what’s about to happen. The accident itself is fairly unspectacular, but we do get a look at the physical effect of it on the guy’s shins, so that’s helpful I guess.

Not all trampoline accident survivors escape with just a couple of bruised shins, though. The gymnast in the video coming up next fudged her landing on the trampoline and bent her knee in a way that knees just aren’t supposed to bend. This is one of those videos that will probably send your stomach rushing up towards your throat, so you might want to skip ahead if you’re a squeamish type. If you’re not, here it is:

It’s been said many times before, but a trampoline is basically a small injury factory you put in your backyard. Or in your mall/warehouse/gymnasium, as is the case with the video below. According to the video description, the person in the video had a three-week concussion following the tumble he takes in the video after getting a little bit too ambitious on a trampoline. The fall isn’t too clear, but you’ll get the point – and that point is, “don’t get too fancy on a trampoline unless you know what you’re doing.”

HOW ABOUT SOME TRAMPOLINE ACCIDENT VIDEOS I CAN COMFORTABLY LAUGH AT?

I get it – unless you’re a sociopath you’re probably a little uncomfortable with laughing at videos in which people were seriously hurt. And even though I can’t absolutely guarantee that everybody in these next couple videos are OK, I can at least say they’re funnier than the preceding few. And hey, they could be alright. Here’s one with “Funny” right there in the name:

Well, that guy’s definitely moving around after he hits the ground, that’s a good sign. But I think my favorite part of that video is the incredible amount of air time he gets before that.

This next one is certainly a fake, produced to promote something called Cirque Berzerk, but I’m including it since it’s actually pretty funny. And this is one trampoline accident video that you can laugh at in 100% certainty that no one got hurt:

 

Unfortunately, I don’t think I can say the same thing for this next guy, who took a trampoline-facilitated hit in the dead-last spot you’d want to take such a thing (except maybe the heart or the brain, I guess). Still, I’m sure he’s OK – after all, this isn’t that much worse than what you used to see on a typical episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos, right?

Huh, that guy is not moving.

I’m including the following video as sort of a bonus, since there was clearly nothing accidental about it. But it’s only seven seconds long, and it’s really cool, so I figure there’s no reason to withhold it. When you watch it you’ll see why:

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING PARTICULARLY SPECTACULAR FOR A GRAND FINALE?

As you have probably already ascertained, most trampoline accident videos follow pretty much the same basic formula: Someone happily bouncing up and down on a trampoline (or preparing to do so) followed by painful disaster. And even though there’s nothing out there that breaks that mold too much, one way to go out with a bang is to provide a nice, long compilation video – this one containing a purported 65 trampoline accidents in under five minutes! Check it out below:

ANY PARTING SAFETY ADVICE?

Yeah – don’t ever get on a trampoline, especially if there’s a camera running.