Top Secret Military Space Plane Lands After 2 Years In Orbit

“Yo Dawg, we heard you like drones. So we made you a space drone!” I imagine that’s what Xzibit would have said to the United States military had he been in charge of pimping their “ride.”

OMG, The Space Plane Has Ebola!

Today the Air Force’s X-37B unmanned space plane, resembling a space shuttle, landed at Vandenberg Air Force Base in California. The small craft had been in orbit for almost two years, landing after 674 days in space. However if you want to know exactly what the little space craft was doing up there for all that time… you are out of luck.

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For being “top secret” we sure have a lot of photos and video of it.

While general information about the launch, landing and size of the craft is known, the Air Force has given no specific details about its mission. In a statement they said;

“The 30th Space Wing and our mission partners, Air Force Rapid Capabilities Office, Boeing, and our base support contractors, have put countless hours of hard work into preparing for this landing and today we were able to see the culmination of that dedication.”

Watch official video of the X-37B land:

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This vagueness has led some to speculate about the X-37B’s status as a spy craft, possibly even used to spy on China’s Tiangong-1 space station. If so does this mean that star wars have finally begun? Here are a few uses I think that the X-37B has that the government is not telling us:

-Spy On Aliens

-Gain Knowledge and Wisdom From The Aliens

-Return Aliens to Their Mother Ship

-Give Aliens A Tour Of Earth Like One Of Those Ski Lift Rides At A Theme Park

-They accidently shrunk the space shuttle which explains why there is no more space shuttle program; they sent it into orbit to give them time to figure out “a plan.”

-Spy On The Alien’s Email and Facebook Accounts.

-See What Happens To Pizza Toppings In Zero G.

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Whooops! Hope the Russians don’t see this.

What do you think the X-37B was really doing in orbit?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney