In theory new technology should make things easier for us, but in reality it can make life a lot more frustrating. Everyone thinks that in the future the robots are going to take over the world, but if artificially intelligent robots are anything like the technology we have today, it’s more likely we just have to wait for them to crash and reboot before they are able to take anything over! Here are the most frustrating technology fails we face on a daily basis to give you a dose of technology induced anxiety.
1. Skype Keeps Freezing
As a kid I dreamt that in the future we would have “video phones” and be able to instantly see and talk to anyone we wanted. It was going to be awesome, like Back to the Future II when Marty McFly was trapped in that closet with a fax machine watching his older self get fired via video phone. We didn’t exactly get video phones in the way they were depicted in old 80’s and 90’s science fiction movies, but Skype and other video chat services sure come close… except when they constantly freeze. And everyone looks at the camera and not directly into your face.
2. Crashing Computer
One of the biggest sources of stress in the modern world is a crashing computer. Using a computer can be similar to living in a waking dream, a dream where your legs are slowed by molasses and you are caught nude without any hands to pull your pants up. Getting the blue screen of death used to happen more often, but now computers freezing just as your about to get your work done is enough to make anyone want to get medieval on a computer. What’s the worst computer crash story you ever had?
3. Slow / No Internet
The worst thing about computers is that even if your computer IS working and NOT crashing then the internet goes out. The Internet goes out as soon as you want to show someone something cool, or that girl you’ve been dating decides she’s going to have a naughty Skype chat with you that would probably freeze anyway. Although as Louis CK tells us in the clip above maybe we should shut up about slow – no internet and be happy that it exists at all.
4. Texting Fails
Texting is probably one of the biggest fails of modern society. Sure, I love to get moment by moment status updates of “where you at” as much as the next guy. However, between the constant auto correct fails and car crashes, texting has become bit of a doozy. My favorite texting fail of all time is the lady in the above clip who is caught falling into a shopping mall fountain. The clip quickly went viral, but you couldn’t really see her face… until she went on television for an interview to complain about how everyone was laughing at her. Double fail.
5. Email Fails
Accidentally hitting “reply all” and emailing your entire company and telling them exactly what a bastard you think your boss is, is a rite of passage for most office dwellers. However the ultimate test of an email fail, is putting in digital writing what a horrible person you are. So horrible in fact that your rant goes viral. Take for example the email a Sorority sister sent to the ladies of Delta Gama at the University of Maryland in which she details how disappointed she is in them for being boring and awkward.
6. Twitter Fail
Speaking of sending out a message to the masses that shows what a deranged person you are; Twitter! We all remember the US Airways Tweet of a toy plane taking a dive in some lady’s landing strip, or how about Congressman Anthony Weiner tweeting a picture of his package when he meant to send a direct message to his mistress? Marriage Fail! Twitter is great if you can only think of 140 characters of stuff to say, otherwise you might accidently tweet your own nip slip.
7. Google Glass Fail
Even relatively new tech that seems awesome at first glance can turn out to be downright douchie. Google Glass promises to take the experience of your smart phone and strap it to your face. What could go wrong? Well it seems that the public doesn’t like the idea that they could be getting recording at any moment without knowing it. “Glassheads” as they call themselves, or people who wear Google Glass and want to have a stupid name for themselves, have been reporting “hate crimes” against.. Glassheads. Just check out the clip above of a woman in San Francisco who was attacked in a bar after patrons accused her of recording them without permission. You can see the footage that she… recorded with her Google Glass.
8. Copy Machines
Soon we will all have to worry about 3D printers spitting out molded copies of our butt. However, for most of us there is nothing worse than an office printer and copy machine to that either A. will not print when our big report is due or B. will continue to spit out the same copy over and over again like it just drank a bottle of tequila.
In a weird way the people who make computer viruses are sort of like the moral police of the internet. If you look at a skeevy website you get a virus, just like in real life if you have sex with a skeevy person you get a virus. The above computer virus “song” should give you lots of tech induced anxiety.
10. Wii Fail
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When the Nintendo Wii console came out a lot of people saw it as a great innovation that would take playing video games off the couch and get kids to move their bodies again. While getting people to move more while gaming was good to combat diabetes, it soon became apparent that using the wireless Wii remotes had their own risks if you were a television screen.
11. Accidentally Uploading Your Nudie Pics and Vids To Everyone You Know!
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It used to be that in order to have all of your friends and family see a video of you plowing your old lady you would have to employ the Train Spotting scenario. This is where you mix up a VHS tape discreetly labeled with a soccer match and the VHS tape of your home made porno which then gets passed from person to person until your wife leaves you, your life spirals out of control… and next thing you know you become a heroin addict! Now your bedroom shenanigans can become entertainment for thousands, much quicker than that! Now that there is no actual “tape” in sex tape; all you need do is set up an iPad. Like in the film Sex Tape – most people’s internet/ computer technology comprehension is that of an 80 year old dock worker, it will be no time before you accidently hit upload/ share/ email and now your Grandma and your boss know you shave your junk. Isn’t technology awesome!?