Tom Cruise Apparently Has No Idea Porn Exists On The Internet

Is it shocking to anyone that Tom Cruise has no idea porn exists on the Internet? Dude could literally come out on national television and tell people he’s getting a sex change and people wouldn’t bat an eye. They wouldn’t even kick him out of the Mission Impossible films – slap a buzz cut on that motherfucker and get back to jumping from rooftop to rooftop Tommy, because that franchise only dies when Xenu finally repossesses your soul.

Tom Cruise Has No Idea Porn Exists

To be fair to Cruise, this story is from 2006 – you know, a decade after people started watching porn online. 14-year-old me was definitely making some risqué searches on the family desktop after everyone’d already gone to bed.  Does this make me smarter than Tom Cruise? I feel like that’s not hard to accomplish considering the dude believes that aliens have invaded his body, or whatever other bullshit Scientologists subscribe to.

During an appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, director Judd Apatow told a story about the time he and Seth Rogen (before Seth was famous) met with Cruise about a potential role in a romantic comedy. While the movie was never made, the pair did get this great story out of it:

 “[Rogen] wasn’t famous so he was just a dude with me and so I said, ‘Someone needs to witness this,’” Apatow said. “So we’re talking to [Cruise], and I don’t know how it came up, but it usually comes up with Seth — [he] starts talking about marijuana and pornography. And he starts talking about watching adult films on the internet and Tom Cruise goes, ‘What? You’re saying there’s adult films on the internet?’ ”

The director, who noted that Cruise, 56, is a “very nice man,” continued, “Seth’s like, ‘Yeah, there’s all these movies on these websites.’ And Tom Cruise’s like, ‘Wait a second. You’re saying if I go on the computer, on the world wide web, there are people having sex?’ ”

At that point, Apatow says Rogen, 36, told Cruise that he watches porn online “all the time … Everybody does it, it’s not a big deal anymore.”

“No movie was made,” Apatow cracked. “He was being very polite, but I think … I assume he was against it and being polite. But who knows? We’ll never know.”

Tom Cruise Has No Idea Porn Exists: Y’all Are Too Deep Into Character

I’m just gonna put this out there: Tom, no one cares that you’re gay. And while we’re at it let’s get John Travolta in here too:

Both of you need to stop with this Scientology bullshit. Y’all are too deep into character. It’s like watching Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder but then he keeps the blackface on in real life and never washes it off; amusing at first, but fuck does it get tiring. I’d love to believe that Cruise was just fucking around with Judd, but the fact that there was at least ONE grown man alive in 2006 who hadn’t jerked it to porn on the Internet? And the fact that the man just happened to be Tom Cruise? That’s not a coincidence. We’re either being fucked with, Cruise is doing that whole fake-persona thing Joaquin Phoenix did for that one movie, or the dude really and truly is off his goddamn rocker.

[H/T Page Six]