At 4:00PM Eastern today, time travel is going to happen. Please remain calm.
In England, a woman named Anna recently placed an ad in the local classifieds seeking a partner to join her on a mission through time. You may have seen these types of ads before, a lot of people post them on craigslist as jokes. But Anna, at least, has a website ready to stream her time travel extravaganza, so she’s a step ahead of the other jokers.
According to the website, Anna already has gone back in time, she did so a few hours ago. Here’s the press release from the site MyRealTimeMachine.com
‘The experiment took place at 01:57 this morning and it is yet unkown whether it has been a success. It was unexpected and the film crew were caught off guard.
We’re not really sure what we saw.
The footage is yet unverified although we will continue to publish it regardless at 21:00 this evening.
Further updates to follow.’
Rob Hutt – Documentary Filmmaker
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If that doesn’t sound totally 100% legit and reliable and professional, then what does? Why shouldn’t a press release contain the line “we’re not really sure what we saw?” We don’t know. But hey, this is a thing that’s happening (happened) so let’s break it down in the simplest possible terms given that the website is super thin on details because it’s “confidential.”
- This is all just a silly hoax for maybe a performance artist or some such. Maybe Anna comes back from the past with pictures of fields full of pandas and tigers and clean water and we learn a lesson about pollution and our poor treatment of blah blah snore.
- This is a viral type hoax and they’re advertising a movie. The footage they release later today of the experiment will show Anna fighting for her life against dinosaurs and an enraged Ben Franklin armed with a spear gun.
- Anna is insane. The video will show her in a foil hat running around hooting under a strobe light.
- This is legit. Anna just travelled through time and we’re going to recognize her as Madame Curie or some such.
These four have been ranked in order of plausibility, but we’re still open to the idea that any could be real.
Check out Anna’s remarkably sparse website for yourself, ponder over why the first blogpost about looking for a companion is tagged only with the word “fruits” and consider what anyone could put online that would count as “proof” of time travel given what we’re able to do with special effects and the fact everyone on earth is either insanely gullible or insanely skeptical and neither side can be easily swayed away from their opinions.
For what it’s worth, if you Google “Rob Hutt” the filmmaker listed on the press release, one of the results is for a Twitter page from a man in the UK, like Anna, whose last Tweet, in 2014, says this;
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Jules Verne, of course, also wrote The Time Machine. He also had a sister named Anna. And Anna never said she was going to the past, maybe she’s bringing back grim word from the future of climate change! Anyone want to place some bets?
Is time travel real? We may find out today.
But probably not.