Caramel Nougat Goodness Inside

They say the news only reports on tragedy.  Nuts to that, man, check out all the gooey,fluffy goodness of this past week!

 

Firefighter Gets Unprecedented Face Transplant

  • This firefighter got a new face!

 

  • He lost it 14 years ago as a volunteer firefighter in a super bad fire that took his eyelids, nose, lips and ears, but this week he got a brand new face from a donor!

 

  • It was amazing that the doctors were even able to save him after the fire but it was also a curse because he couldn’t go out in public without scaring people, even his own kids.

 

  • After years all these years of having to skulk around in the shadows, amazing real sci-fi technology and brilliant doctors transplanted his face.

 

  • Now has a new face, the beard is growing, he can actually feel his ears again and he can finally go outside again and be with family and friends,  including two kids he had after the accident who never even saw their dad with a face their entire lives.

 

So that’s pretty cool.

Honors for Diesel the Police Dog

  • Diesel was the French police dog at the forefront of the response to last week’s terrorist attacks.  He was taken out by a suicide bomber when they found the base ISIS was using.

     
  • Though he died instantly, there’s a huge clamor for Diesel to be honored with the pet version of the Victoria Cross.

     
  • Basically, since he was able to follow his training and jump right into the line of fire to save human officers, they’re looking at giving him the Dickin Medal, an honor that’s been around since 1943 to recognize the contribution animals make in war time and law enforcement.

     
  • If Diesel gets it, he’ll be in good company since other notable animal recipients were ones who helped in the rescue effort after 9/11.

     
  • Here’s hoping it works out, Diesel was a damn good boy.

Star Wars Forever!

  • So the original Star Wars came out in 1977 and we got two sequels

     
  • Episode One came out in 1999 and we got two sequels

     
  • This year, 16 years later, we get episode 7, right?  And that’s where the breaks stop

     
  • Disney plans to keep Star Wars going forever now, as in a new Star Wars movie ever single year

     
  • Since there’s so much extended universe and so many characters they plan on covering everything from Han Solo to Boba Fett to Rogue One and probably everything else you can imagine

     
  • So basically we’ll never have to wait forever to get a Star Wars fix again!

 

Sex in Space

  • You’ve thought about sex in space, right?

     
  • The basic problem is things in space push each other away, so sex is a game of you two bouncing off of each other

     
  • Neil Degrasse Tyson has an idea though, because he’s a super genius

     
  • Basically what you want to do is bring a lot of leather belts so you can strap yourself together

     
  • Once you’re strapped in, literally, zero gravity sex is all yours!

 

Millioniare Goes Broke Saving Dogs

  • A few years ago this millionaire in China lost his dog

     
  • He looks everywhere for it but no dice.  Finally some friends suggest he check the local slaughterhouse, which sounds awful but it’s how things work in China

     
  • He checks the slaughterhouse and still doesn’t find his dog, but the place is just wall to wall dogs and he’s so horrified by what he sees, he buys the entire damn slaughterhouse

     
  • Then he picks up a local steel warehouse and converts it into a dog rescue.  He’s saving dogs hundreds at a time, up to 1000 are staying in his shelter sometimes

     
  • 2015 rolls around, he’s spent all of his money on his dog rescue business, rehoming all these dogs to people who want pets.  He’s not rich anymore, but at least he’s doing something he loves and helping people out, so that’s a pretty cool way to live