Facebook went crazy earlier today over footage of a naked man squatting on a rooftop somewhere in France.
The exact location and reason for this naked, freezing Frenchman to crouch on the roof of this tall building is unknown. Based on the way he’s hiding under the window and the fact that his junk is blowing in the wind, people believe he was mid-sex when his lover’s unsuspecting partner came home but that’s just a guess.
We here at Break have some alternate theories about this crazy naked guy that we think make just as much sense.
He’s from the future
He’s naked, no one knows who he is, and he looks like he has an as-of-yet-unstated mission to either save or destroy humanity. I’m not saying he’s definitely one of the time traveling killer robots from the Terminator film franchise, but if you look at the evidence, it makes it look like he’s one of the time traveling killer robots from the Terminator film franchise. If the next time he pops up in the news it’s for stealing someone’s clothes, boots and motorcycle I would not be surprised.
He’s out of towels
People think this man is up to something just because he’s suspiciously crouching under a rooftop window over a city street and also completely naked. I say he probably just took a shower, realized that he’s out of towels and climbed out into the cool winter air to dry off. Perhaps he has a job interview he’s late to? Maybe he’s about to meet his girlfriend's parents and he doesn’t want to do it with wet hair? Instead of being a sleazeball, this guy could just be a lovable loser that only has his life about fifty percent figured out. If this were a movie, he would be played by Seth Rogan or maybe Will Forte if Seth Rogan is busy.
Doing the old “naked window” prank
He could also be playing a rousing round of “naked window.” You know, the prank where you hide outside your living room window, completely naked and when your roommate, spouse or parents come home you pounce into the house screaming “naked window” to cackles of delight from everyone? As someone who loved him some naked window, this one makes the most sense to me.
What do you think this man was doing crouched naked on that rooftop? Let us know in the comments.