Most of the “teacher student sex scandal” stories involve teachers who look like they haven’t had a dick since the Reagan administration. You look at these women with pitying eyes, thinking to yourself “Man, I hope my love life never falters to the point where I’d consider diddling kiddies,” only to realize that the dry spell you’re in has lasted 5+ months and that no, you’re not doing so well yourself either.
But you’re still doing better than Katherine Gonzalez.
24-year-old Gonzalez, a teacher at Atlas Preparatory Academy, has been criminally charged with sexual contact with a person under the age of 13. What would cause Gonzalez to allegedly contact such a young student in a sexual matter? Sadly, Fox6Now doesn’t specify -- but we can try and come up with some ideas on our own:
- Daddy issues. So, so many daddy issues.
- We can’t say the kid was hot, can we? No? Ok, definitely not that. Kids are NOT attractive.
"Not sexually smash it, just regular Hulk-smash it."
…and that’s about it. Because the only reason to have sex with someone under the age of consent when you’re 24 is if you’re crazy, insecure, or both. Daddy may have loved her brother Joey Gonzalez more, but goddamn it if Katherine isn’t going to fill that hole in her soul with something else: preferably hot dogs, but in this case, an inappropriate underage relationship.
In the dumbest statement of the week, one Atlas Preparatory mother said “You don’t want to think that your kids go to a school where stuff like this is happening. You want to think you trust the teachers that are around your students, no matter who they are, what age they are.” No shit lady – what, are you saying some parents put their kids on the bus in the morning and wonder if they’re going to get laid during third period? Katherine Gonzalez may be ruining lives, but this mom ain’t doing her kids any favors either.
Attempting to get ahead of the story before parents saw it on the news, Atlas Prep sent out the following letter to assure that no, not all their teachers prefer young meat:
"The Milwaukee Police Department sent officers to the Kansas Campus on Wednesday, March 1st to investigate a report alleging inappropriate conduct between an Atlas teacher and a student outside of school grounds. School officials are fully cooperating with the Milwaukee Police Department in this ongoing investigation. The teacher has been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation.
We want to assure you that we continue to take all the necessary steps to ensure the safety and well-being of our students. We are deeply dismayed by this allegation and will continue to work with our students to support them as they cope with this disturbing news. Counseling will be made available to students, staff, and families."
Gonzalez made her first court appearance on Sunday and was ordered to not have any contact with the 11-year-old victim involved in the case. She cannot use social media, a cell phone or a computer, and her cash bond was set at $15,000.