Man’s Amazon Review For A Thermostat Turns Into A Marital Revenge Confession

Amazon is a magical place. You can literally shop for anything here, including a Honeywell Wi-Fi Smart Thermostat. Most reviewers are a big fan of this particular thermostat, especially a reviewer that goes by the name of The General. Why does he like it so much? It helps him execute revenge on his awful ex-wife. And it’s brilliant.

The General writes:

My former wife loves to take expensive vacations. We live in Ohio, which doesn’t exactly have extravagant places to see unless you like to watch grass growing or interstate construction. While we make OK money, I’m convinced she felt the need to single handedly improve the US economy by taking elaborate vacations: Broadway shows in New York City, gambling in Las Vegas, Spa’s in Arizona, sightseeing in San Francisco. The airlines know me so well they ask about my dog when I call to make reservations. His name is Fred.

The reviewer not only bought the device because of the price, but because it could help the couple save some money too. Which sounds like they desperately needed.

In my attempt to try and save whatever I could so the princess could have her nice things I bought this Honeywell Wi-Fi enabled device so I could adjust the HVAC while we were away piling up massive amounts of debt on Mickey Mouse watches. I thought we could save a few bucks by keeping the temp cool in the winter and warm in the summer. The device was easy to install.

Not only did The General have a great affordable, money-saving thermostat. He could also work the system from an account online.

The device works flawlessly. You can adjust the temp from anywhere you have a Wi-Fi or cellular signal. Little did I know that my ex had found someone that had a bit more money than I did and decided to make other travel plans. Those plans included her no longer being my wife and finding a new travel partner (Carl, a banker). She took the house, the dog and a good chunk of my 401k, but didn’t mess with the wireless access point or the Wi-Fi enabled Honeywell thermostat.

With The General kicked out of his own house because of the divorce settlement, it seems that he continues to have access to the home’s thermostat. And adjusts the temperature. Frequently.

Since this past Ohio winter has been so cold I’ve been messing with the temp while the new love birds are sleeping. Doesn’t everyone want to wake up at 7 AM to a 40 degree house? When they are away on their weekend getaways, I crank the heat up to 80 degrees and back down to 40 before they arrive home. I can only imagine what their electricity bills might be. It makes me smile. I know this won’t last forever, but I can’t help but smile every time I log in and see that it still works. I also can’t wait for warmer weather when I can crank the heat up to 80 degrees while the love birds are sleeping. After all, who doesn’t want to wake up to an 80 degree home in the middle of June?

Well played, sir. And that’s why you’re The General.

Read the actual review on Amazon HERE. 6,715 of 6,874 people found the following review helpful.

Follow me at @Todd_Spence