The Worst Beauty Pageant Answers Ever

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Jun. 17, 2013

Every beauty pageant has a brief interview section where the contestant is asked a question based on current events. The answer is well-rehearsed, non-offensive, and doesn't really answer anything but gives off the idea the candidate knows what they are talking about. But sometimes we're blessed with pure magic, a contestant caught off-guard and lost, not knowing how to answer and trying her best to pull words from other memorized answers and form a new answer. And thankfully for us, it doesn't work out.

The following are some of our favorite bad pageant answers. We're going to be using the Miss South Carolina Caitlin Upton scale to judge these answers.

Five Uptons is the highest a contestant can earn. Can any of them achieve such a monumentally sad level of stupidity? Let's find out!

If we heard Miss Venezuela correctly, she wants to make sure prostitutes and surfers are protected by laws so they can live their lives freely. We're not going to say we disagree but we are going to say this was a terrible answer that made little sense (minus the prostitute part. That made total sense).


This isn't even a hard question. She could have literally said anything. She could have said, "We'd have more flowers" or "We'd outlaw comments about women being in kitchens" or "Men would have to take out the trash, YA HEAR ME!" and she would have been fine. Instead, she's acting like I do when asked to solve for "Y"in an algebra equation (and the answer is "Y" isn't a number, moron).

Mizogucci User

This is like asking a strawberry picker to write court room jury instructions. Why the fuck are they asked anything outside of personal questions. They aren't their showing off their PH Ds.

stev379 User

When you guys post the multi video posts, they don't work on iPads. How can I hide what I'm doing if I have to do it on my actual computer monitor? Seriously, I'm not spending another dime at Break.

GoatHoles User

Moderators ? WTF is this gay shit

smoke1383 User

Am I the only one that hates Break Robot.  Honestly Mark is that you? Earnest?

Green_Arrow User

Did it ever occur to you that Ms. Upton is probably pretty smart once you get to know her?


@stev379     <--         ^... And the WINNER of the MOST Upton Heads goes to... ^
I'm sure you've spent a FORTUNE on break... 

The-Langolier UserTop Commenter

@Break Robot Can you guys add a dislike button again, so I can dislike most of your comments?

Break Robot
Break Robot moderator

I'll press it! Stevie's pageviews are delicious!

Earnest-Pettie moderator User

@Steven-Bowers-899 @Mark-Potts @Break Robot @Green_ArrowIn this case, and is joining two independent clauses. That means the comma should have preceded and. Why are we arguing about grammar instead of watching videos?