This Week In WTF? #1

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Jul. 20, 2013

While regular news is easy to come by, the weird news often slips through the cracks. We are here to gather it up and present some of the weirder things we have come across this week.

The Mysterious Case Of The Screaming Ghost That, Oh, Nevermind. That’s A Real Person.

A woman in China was trying to find a shortcut home when she fell in between two walls and became stuck. Naturally, she began screaming, hoping someone would hear her. The good news is her screams were heard. The bad news is no one did anything because they thought she was a ghost and she remained stuck for seven hours.


I don’t know how things work in China but for so many people to just assume she was a ghost and go about their day seems incredibly odd. Are ghosts fairly prevalent in China? Are they always around, screaming at the top of their lungs? China is weird...

 

Man’s Penis Gets Attacked By A Snake

There are many bad things that can happen while sitting on a toilet and I think snake biting my penis ranks up there in the top 3.

A 30-year-old man was hospitalized when this happened to him at his parents’ house. He was hospitalized overnight and blood tests proved the snake wasn’t venomous.

 

Kanye West’s $120 White Designer T-Shirt Sells Out

Everyone’s favorite musician, Kanye West, teamed up with Fashion design house A.P.C. to release a line of clothes inspired by him. It sold out in the first day.


Part of this collection was the shirts you see above. Those cost $120. They sold out. We can stop Earth, now. It’s done.

 

“I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows It”

We all love our pets but Kristina Michelle Brown really loves hers. She was arrested after threatening her 72-year-old neighbor, Elmer Morrison, with a knife and yelling, “Do you wanna die?” after he allegedly told the neighborhood she had sex with a cat.



She was so upset because he told everyone that lie. Wait, sorry. It isn’t a lie. She had sex with her cat. However, Morrison actually had no clue about the feline fornication and never said anything to anyone. So really, she admitted her kitty copulation to everyone. People who have sex with cats just aren't that smart.
 

UFO Lovers To Rehabilitate The Swastika

The Raelian International Movement, a group of UFO believers that think aliens hold the key life or something weird like that, declared July 20th to be “Swastika Rehabilitation Day.”

The group wants to get back to the good ol’ days when the swastika meant “good luck” and not “annihilate a group of humans based on their religion.”
 

Fly Vomit Makes Amazing Art Says What I Assume To Be A Blind Artist

Artist John Knuth uses 250,000 flies, feeds them a concoction of sugar, water, and colored pigment, then has them vomit all over a canvas. He calls this art.


In other news, I’ll be feeding myself KFC for a few weeks then vomiting and shitting all over canvases. You’ll probably see them New York’s Museum of Modern Art or somewhere dumb like that.

 

Porn Stars Get What They Ask For...

Japanese porn star, Uta Kohaku, asked fans for semen via Twitter. 10 days later, she received 100 bottles of the stuff. “I will care for them as if it were my own child,” she excitedly exclaimed.


She said she needed them for a film titled “Semen Collection 2.”

And we’re done for today.

- Mark (follow on Twitter)

 

 

12 comments
The-Langolier
The-Langolier User

Good job for believing in ghosts, China. Also the fucking snarky comment from the news reader at 0:51. "Well, she wont take that shortcut again, will she? Stupid bitch."

Ghrimm
Ghrimm User

Its impossible to not be mean. You retarded people pay $120 for a T-Shirt when u can go to walmart and get the same shit for $1.99 Recession my ass, just stupid people buying stupid shit thinking its cool.

xmillertime08x
xmillertime08x User

OMG! I saw the virgin mary in one of those "art" thingys! Its gotta be a sign of blessing from god! It will be worth millions!


Geepa53
Geepa53 User

Remind me to NOT watch that porn film.

MyCatsNameIsFcukYou
MyCatsNameIsFcukYou

I read this whole thing while eating pb&j toast. I think i may have become desensitized to the internet because my toast was just as tasty at the end of this as it was at the beginning. God I love toast.

Matt-Kim-806
Matt-Kim-806 User

"i had sex with the beating heart under the floorboards!"

;