The future is upon us, folks. Introducing the “Scroguard”, a protective piece of plastic that covers the area around the penis during sex to prevent any pesky diseases. But make no mistake, you still have to wear a condom. And at the low price of $19.99, you get to not only scare your date away but also look fashionable while doing so.
Really the best part of this whole product is the informational video released by the company behind Scroguard which offers the suggestion “You can also put on Scroguard hours before the main event, to avoid awkward interruption.” Yes, because someone seeing you strapped in this thing wouldn’t be awkward at all.
I could quote this thing all day long, but it’s best to see it for yourself.
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Not sold on it yet? Below is a picture from the companies website in its real non-Sims form. But judging by its presentation, it makes me think of that stench latex gloves have. If you’ve ever wanted to bang Dexter, someone wearing this thing strapped to them would be about as close as you could get.
Looks like a prop from 12 Monkeys.
A fun bonus fact about the Scroguard is it’s actually washable. The question is where do you store this thing? Or as the video suggests, wear it all day long if you’d like. Because that’s not weird and won’t leave you swimming in ball sweat by lunch time. Although I’m a little more concerned about the site’s FAQ page which states “Scroguard™ is not a medical device as defined by the United States Food and Drug Administration and is not to be construed as a way to mitigate or prevent disease.” So if it’s not made to prevent disease, why the hell am I wearing it??
Head over to the Scroguard website to learn more, if not actually buy it. Christmas is just a few months away afterall and I doubt your loved ones will already have this one.
Follow me at @Todd_Spence