Hopefully you’re still asleep right now. When you wake up you’ll put on shorts, grab a beer and barbecue a breakfast hamburger. While you do that, read this and get updated on what you need to know to help celebrate you independence.
It’s Independence Day!
America turns 237 today, so celebrate the best way you can, with friends and family and maybe some red, white and blue snacks foods. Don’t forget to take in some fireworks because pyrotechnics are always awesome.
Lady Liberty is Back
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Near New York? The Statue of Liberty is officially open for the first time since Superstorm Sandy. You could go there and get pictures. Maybe a hot dog. Do they have vendors on the island? Ah well, get one on the mainland.
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A man who stole an iPhone from a 3 year old was sentenced to 1.5 to 3 years in prison for his crime. At no time did anyone ask how we got to the point in society when a 3 year old has an iPhone in their possession at all. Remember when parents had to pay attention to their kids? And kids had to actually figure out something to do on their own? Hold on to that, it’s going to be gone soon.
Spies Like Us
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Barack Obama is going to talk with our European allies, especially the Germans who we apparently still hate, about how much we spy on them. This ought to go over swimmingly and everyone will surely be satisfied and happy again in no time, just wait and see. You’re not still mad the government spies on you, right?
It’s a Slow News Day
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If more stuff was happening today that was actually interesting, I promise I’d tell you about it. But it’s not! Go be with your family, have a great day, we’ll be back tomorrow with something interesting.