Hello Monday, goodbye weekend. Time to head back to work with all the news you’ll need to get you through the day.
The Wipe Menace
Do you use wipes on your butt? You shouldn’t. For whatever reason, moist butt wipes, traditionally used on babies who haven’t mastered the art of cleaning their own heinies, are being used en masse by adults and then flushed away. Thing is, the label says flushable but it means that in the same way a flaming car could still technically be drivable.
The Washington Suburban Sanitation Commission has already wasted up to 500 man hours cleaning out pipes clogged with wipes and has had to install heavy duty grinders in pipe lines to smash them up before they clog pumps, at a cost of about $1 million. Wipes are responsible for a 35% jump in clogs and pipe breaks. Does it get worse? Oh, you bet. A 15 ton glob of wipes and cooking grease the size of a bus was found clogging pipes in London. They named it Fatberg.
Black Market Babies at Home
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Did you know there’s a market for kids in America? Probably not a good thing if you did, and not a good thing to learn if you didn’t. Nonetheless, it turns out that Americans who adopt children from abroad have a habit (not all the time, mind you, but enough that it’s a thing) of giving the kids away on the internet.
Apparently any number of parents will adopt a child from abroad, find it too difficult to manage them and then, rather than do what any sane person would do, they go to Yahoo and Facebook groups to arrange hand offs where they simply give the chil to another family having no background or knowledge of who these people are and what they want a child for. You can guess what happens and why this is a terrible idea.
Yahoo closed down the groups where the child-trading occurs after Reuters told them about it, while Facebook released this ridiculous statement – “the Internet is a reflection of society, and people are using it for all kinds of communications and to tackle all sorts of problems, including very complicated issues such as this one.”
So keep that in mind if you want to illegally adopt a child, Facebook is all about it.
The Price of the WTC Name
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See if this sounds shady to you. In 1986, the Port Authority in New Jersey sold the rights to the name World Trade Centers to the World Trade Center Association, a company run by Guy Tozzoli. Guy Tozzoli was a Port Authority employee and he signed the contract for the naming rights months before he retired. He also paid $10 for them and now charges $10,000 a year for use of the name. Plus the company gets office space in the new WTC worth $585,000 a year. The Port Authority pays to use the name on all kinds of merchandise and will likely sell a lot of it as the new tower opens, and of course it pays for those naming rights with tax dollars.
Current Port Authority executives are looking into the deal as the whole $10 thing sounds a bit off, but no word yet on whether the deal was illegal, or just as close to illegal as you can get without actually being felonious.
Batman Saves Cat
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Nothing much to say about this story beyond the headline – a fire broke out at a home in West Virginia and two superheroes, Batman and Captain America, who happened to be in the neighborhood for an American Legion event, sprang into action. Turns out Bats used to be a firefighter so when Cap busted a window, Batman reached in and saved the family cat from certain doom.
The family was out so only the cat needed saving. It was a good day.
The Oldest Gunfighter in the West
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A 107 year old man died after a gunfight with a SWAT team. The old man had apparently been holding two people at gunpoint in the home when police arrived. They were allowed to leave and as cops closed in, the man opened fire, causing cops to retreat and call the SWAT team in. SWAT tried negotiating with him and then gassed the building, but he opened fire and the result was SWAT taking him out. 107 years old. Out in a blaze of irresponsible and deadly glory.