It’s Hump Day, make a camel joke or whatever then read about what’s buzzing in the world today.
The Ted Cruz Filibuster
Good Lord, what a debacle this is. It’s hard to explain, in part because it’s dumb and makes little sense, but here’s the gist; Ted Cruz is a Republican Senator who no one likes and no one will ever like (that’s not editorializing, that seems to be the truth based on everything written about him). He tried to push through legislation to destroy Obamacare. His bill was passed in the House even though he later agreed it would die in the Senate. This was after Cruz got his party to support passing it though, so he basically made them all look kind of ill-informed and silly.
Republicans got mad at Cruz for his flip flop on this. But his big news now is the so-called filibuster, which has included him reading Green Eggs and Ham, to prevent the bill. But the problem is he’s not really filibustering anything because he doesn’t have the power to delay the kind of vote the Senate will be making. So Cruz is literally just wasting time for no reason and it will prove no point. Today at 1 he’ll be forced to stop talking so the vote can take place. And Senate Majority leader Harry Red has already said the bill is dead and Obama would veto it if it somehow passed the Senate so this is all literally just posturing that not even Cruz’s own party, with the exception of a minority, support.
Cruz’s plan now, knowing that he’s failed but still going forward, is to try to defund the military in an effort to obstruct Obamacare and force a government shutdown, even though bills have already passed to prevent that. Why would Cruz do all these silly things? Some people think it’s to make himself look good for the Tea Party in a bid for a 2016 Presidential run. Good luck, Cruz, you’ll need it.
Elephants and Cyanide
Poachers in Zimbabwe have decided lazy and despicable is the easiest way to harvest ivory and have dumped cyanide into a watering hole, causing the death of over 80 elephants which were then stripped of their tusks. Many other animals died as well, but who cares as long as you can send ivory to someone who wants to make a really nice looking chess board in Asia, right?
On the upside, nine poachers were arrested. On the downside, this is the second time in a month that a water hole was poisoned just so poachers would have less work to do in killing their prey.
PopularScience not Popular Opinion
PopularScience.com has decided to shut down the comments section of their website thanks to internet trolls. Trolls? What are those?
Turns out the site has decided that people who leave awful comments are actually hurting the articles themselves and are contributing nothing to a lively, scientific discussion, so it’s easier to just have no discussion at all.
We sympathize with PopularScience and if trolls ever show up in the Break comments who knows how we may react.
Monkeys Can Whisper
If the headline of this entry didn’t excite you, maybe you don’t love monkeys as much as the rest of us, but this story is awesome. Research has shown for the first time that non-human primates are capable of whispering to each other. Why does that matter? It actually doesn’t, but the research is kind of hilarious in that tamarins, tiny South American monkeys, were found to communicate in hushed tones in the presence of zoo keepers they didn’t like. That sentence tells you all the awesome things you need to know about how this study went down. First, how do you determine a monkey doesn’t like a certain zoo keeper? Why doesn’t the monkey like the zoo keeper? What did the zoo keeper do? And second, why are the monkeys whispering? Surely monkeys have some kind of rudimentary ability to communicate but just between us, monkeys can’t talk. If you can’t talk, you don’t really need to whisper.
According to the story, the zoo keeper had helped capture some of the tamarins, so that’s why the monkeys didn’t like him, and whenever he came around the volume of their calls would significantly drop, meaning they were either being cautious around someone they didn’t like or they were trying to passive-aggressively make him feel bad. Either way, this story is great.
iOS 7 Isn’t Waterproof
A fake ad claiming that the new iPhone’s OS will make your phone waterproof has apparently duped a few people who have issues understanding how technology works . A quick check of Twitter shows a number of people who presumably dropped their phone in the toilet to make sure it really is waterproof are angry now that it is not, in fact, waterproof and the ad is a fake.