The Daily Wrap: September 20th Staff by Staff on Sep. 20, 2013

It’s Friday!  Totally time to get down, if you believe that hipster Rebecca Black.  Anyway, here’s what’s buzzing in the world today.

Chicago Shootout

13 people were shot last night in Chicago, including a 3-year-old boy, in a park on the city’s south side.  The police are releasing very little info except to say most of those shot were adults and the shooting seems to be gang related.  All victims were taken to hospital and the three-year-old was the most seriously wounded.  Hopefully he pulls through along with everyone else.


2-Year-Old Gets Gastric Bypass

This story is insane insofar as what it means about our world in general.  A 2-year-old in Saudi Arabia has proved Americans are not the fattest people in the world after becoming the youngest person ever to receive gastric bypass. The child weighed over 70lbs and had a body mass index of 41.  Anything over 30 is considered obese.  This child was so large he’d developed sleep apnea and bowed legs.

After several doctor referrals and the parents apparently being unable or unwilling to follow directions regarding his diet, they finally gave the child an irreversible laproscopic sleeve gastrectomy.


Welfare or Minimum Wage?

In general you’d thinking working for a living is an improvement over being on welfare.  Sure, maybe you’re doing a menial task you don’t like.  But even at minimum wage you’re making more money, right?  Turns out that welfare pays more than minimum wage in 35 states. 35!  That means there’s literally no reason for anyone to want to work for minimum wage in most of the country, because why bother?

The stigma has often been that people on welfare are lazy, but can you honestly say if you were being offered more money to stay home than to work at McDonalds you wouldn’t choose to stay home?


Space Comes to England

A balloon sent into the upper atmosphere to monitor the Perseid meteor shower came back covered in bacteria.  Otherworldy bacteria!  At least that’s what one scientist in England thinks, as the bacteria is too large to have lifted from Earth at that height without the help of a volcanic eruption, and that hasn’t happened for years.

Also of note, the article ends with the disclaimer that they still need to test the organisms to see if they’re from Earth.  So, you know, this is based on no evidence.  But hey, it got printed in the paper.

No Douche for Coke

Coke is cancelling a Canadian campaign in which bottles of Vitaminwater were sold with words printed under the caps, one in English, one in French, thanks to two French words that showed up in the wrong place – "late" and "shower."  In French, “retard” means late and “douche” means shower.  Oops.  So when someone got a cap that said “You Retard” it didn’t go over well, nor did the one calling someone else a douche.

The campaign was supposed to involve people collecting the caps to make funny sentences but this terrible press seems like it’s much funnier than anything you could write up with bottle caps.

Robert-Maybeth-497 User

Chicongo shooting out?  Gun control works very well doesn't it?  No for the punch line BLAME THE OTHER STATES, EMMANUEL!

Mizogucci User

What is happening is the people who produce and do well are paying for those who don't and the government is making the producers pay more and more for those that do little. Pretty soon people like Obama will turn this country into a socialist state and we will end up like Greece or the Soviet Union and be starving because if you take too much from those that produce they will stop producing and or go someplace else. Then there will be no where left on earth to immigrate to because the USA was turned into the place all those people fled.

kevlee68 User

I'm confused, Welfare pays more in 35 states, less in 17?....52 states?...I need to re-count the stars on my flag.

KKTPP UserTop Commenter

hawaii $29.13 for sittin on yo /-\ss?!?!? wtffff

Jroi User

Good thing I don't come to break for a political opinion because these guys clearly don't know jack

Cherry-Turnunder User

@kevlee68 Look at the map, It shows D.C. as it's own state. [Plus a side note from me] Puerto Rico is in the US now, financial wise, anyway.


@kevlee68 I'm guessing Guam an Puerto Rico, ya know, our US territories that get federal funds...

linznrob User

@KKTPP yeah that will buy you 2 happy meals there


@Jroi I don't really see any political opinion here... A political opinion would be "Welfare has reached a point where sitting on your ass is more profitable than working thanks to democrats who 70-80% of welfare recipients vote for"