It’s Friday! Totally time to get down, if you believe that hipster Rebecca Black. Anyway, here’s what’s buzzing in the world today.
13 people were shot last night in Chicago, including a 3-year-old boy, in a park on the city’s south side. The police are releasing very little info except to say most of those shot were adults and the shooting seems to be gang related. All victims were taken to hospital and the three-year-old was the most seriously wounded. Hopefully he pulls through along with everyone else.
2-Year-Old Gets Gastric Bypass
This story is insane insofar as what it means about our world in general. A 2-year-old in Saudi Arabia has proved Americans are not the fattest people in the world after becoming the youngest person ever to receive gastric bypass. The child weighed over 70lbs and had a body mass index of 41. Anything over 30 is considered obese. This child was so large he’d developed sleep apnea and bowed legs.
After several doctor referrals and the parents apparently being unable or unwilling to follow directions regarding his diet, they finally gave the child an irreversible laproscopic sleeve gastrectomy.
Welfare or Minimum Wage?
In general you’d thinking working for a living is an improvement over being on welfare. Sure, maybe you’re doing a menial task you don’t like. But even at minimum wage you’re making more money, right? Turns out that welfare pays more than minimum wage in 35 states. 35! That means there’s literally no reason for anyone to want to work for minimum wage in most of the country, because why bother?
The stigma has often been that people on welfare are lazy, but can you honestly say if you were being offered more money to stay home than to work at McDonalds you wouldn’t choose to stay home?
Space Comes to England
A balloon sent into the upper atmosphere to monitor the Perseid meteor shower came back covered in bacteria. Otherworldy bacteria! At least that’s what one scientist in England thinks, as the bacteria is too large to have lifted from Earth at that height without the help of a volcanic eruption, and that hasn’t happened for years.
Also of note, the article ends with the disclaimer that they still need to test the organisms to see if they’re from Earth. So, you know, this is based on no evidence. But hey, it got printed in the paper.
No Douche for Coke
Coke is cancelling a Canadian campaign in which bottles of Vitaminwater were sold with words printed under the caps, one in English, one in French, thanks to two French words that showed up in the wrong place – "late" and "shower." In French, “retard” means late and “douche” means shower. Oops. So when someone got a cap that said “You Retard” it didn’t go over well, nor did the one calling someone else a douche.
The campaign was supposed to involve people collecting the caps to make funny sentences but this terrible press seems like it’s much funnier than anything you could write up with bottle caps.