It’s Friday, are you down yet? Gotta get down. Maybe reading the news will help you.
Porn for Westboro
A punk band you’ve probably never heard of called Get Shot! has successfully lived the dream and filmed a porno on the front lawn of the Westboro Baptist Church. The band uploaded the video to their site and later made mention to the WBC that someone from the Church’s IP address spent over 40 minutes on the site, which is longer than the whole video. Must have been praying the evil away.
We’d link the video here but then we’d get fired so you may want to Google it on your own if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s less of a porno and more of one naked girl on the lawn of the WBC on an eyesore of a blanket. So far WBC has had nothing to say.
The GOP has been getting a lot of heat for the government shutdown and maybe that’s all liberal media hype and they’re really trying to make America better for Americans. However. The worst thing they’re being saddled with now, especially since it’s not all of them, is pay checks. A number of politicians in the party have already declared they’re going to give their pay during the shutdown to various other causes or groups, whether it be the Treasury or charities. But one or two reps feel like, despite not being at work and thousands of others out of work at the same time, they need to get paid. Like North Carolina’s Renee Ellmers. She needs that money, dammit. She actually said she needs the money. Unlike, say, the people on furlough.
Ellmers makes $174k per year plus benefits and is married to a surgeon who owns his own practice. When asked before the shutdown if she thought government officials should keep their pay during a shut down she wouldn’t answer because, as she said, the government isn’t going to shut down. But now that it has, we know her answer.
To keep things fair and balanced for you, Democratic Rep Butterfield also out of North Carolina is keeping his money because he believes everyone who works deserves to get paid and he didn’t create the shut down so why shouldn’t he? Why indeed, Butterfield. Why indeed.
Sam’s Club Helps Out
Wal Mart could use any chance it can get to look good, and maybe even some goodwill from Sam’s Club will rub off on its sister chain. In this case, since military commissaries are shut down and many military families are forced to shop elsewhere now, Sam’s Club is waiving its membership requirements for military personnel looking for low cost groceries and everyday needs. The company that owns Wal Mart is now taking up the government’s slack. That’s gotta hurt.
OK Cupid, Not OK Fatties
OKCupid now allows you to filter results based on body size for a fee. It probably would have been OK if it was just a free part of their service like everything else, you can’t fault a person for being attracted to certain body types and not others, but it seems kind of creepy and low brow that they’re making you pay $5 a month to do it now. Like if you keep your money you’ll just have to wade through all the fat people on earth and it’ll be your own, cheap fault.
Some people are offended by the idea of having to list abpdy type at all but, in fairness, most people can see and would be able to figure out on their own what your body type is and respond according to their own whims and inclinations. What should be more offensive is that OKCupid has 10 body types to choose from and one of them is “used up.” We’re stuck in the office between thinking that’s hilarious and sad.
Bacon by the Half Ton
There’s not a lot to this story but it needs to be told – a man in Sweden was in the meat packing district (of the whole country or just one town we can’t say) when a trolley full of bacon just couldn’t handle being a trolley full of bacon and blew its salty load all over the poor guy. 1,322 lbs of bacon tumbled out onto him which seems like a lot, but given that he only sustained minor back injuries must mean it fell out one slice at a time and covered a vast area, thus allowing him to survive generally unscathed.