Give Tuesday a big kiss and strap yourself in for some news to start your day. Will it change your life? Well, read it and see.
Justin Bieber: Patron of Strippers
Let it never be said that Break begrudged anyone the right to go to a strip club, even Justin Bieber. But what we will make sarcastic reference to, aside from him handing massive stacks of cash to dancers (dude, you don’t need to spend that much), is that he somehow managed to be pretty much naked himself at the club. Look at that picture, that’s like breaking every strip club rule you can think of. He has no shirt on, he’s counting out a mortgage, his pants are almost on the floor, he has sunglasses indoors and what is that, a bottle of water? He can’t even blame this crap on being drunk? Come on.
Incidentally, those are all $1 bills. So that’s gotta be a solid $100 right there. No word on whether he pissed in the briefcase full of them before he left
Netflix > HBO
Netflix finally spilled the beans on subscription numbers and they’re pulling in around 30 million paid subscribers compared to HBO’s slightly lower 28.7 million. Does this change your life in any way whatsoever? Probably not, but maybe we Netflix starting to stream new, original content and sports it’ll start picking up more subscribers and thoroughly destroying antiques like the original cable networks that really offer no reason to watch them anymore.
No Spongebob Forever
28 year old Sgt Kimberly Walker was killed by her boyfriend and laid to rest in Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati. As a final gift, her family commissioned a Spongebob tombstone since walker had been an avid Spongebob fan in life. The cemetery even assisted in the design and commission of the tombstone and had OK’d the entire endeavor until it was in place, at which point they decided the tombstone was inappropriate and had to be removed, citing some BS about balancing the needs and desires of all their patrons.
Here’s the deal – the family wanted this and paid for it and it’s not obscene. It’s goofy. Goofy is not inappropriate and if other people come to the cemetery and feel it’s not “serious” enough, people whose relative is not buried under that tombstone, then the cemetery needs to have the balls to tell them too bad. You shouldn’t dictate how another person gets to memorialize someone they cared about.
A Charity of One
Brian James Brown used to run a charity util he realized all that charity money was pretty sweet. After leaving one charity to start another, one that would provide scholarships for Native Americans, he convinced that first charity fund the second one. And every months they’d send $100k or $200k to Brown’s charity and every month he got those checks and just spent it on himself, forging financial documents to cover his tracks while he took trips to Thailand where he even bought a condo. After scamming about $4 million someone finally caught on and he was indicted. He’s currently at home with a GPS ankle monitor and he’s not allowed about when the sun’s down. He also told a judge he couldn’t afford a lawyer. Ha!
Jenna Jameson: Trainwreck
Former porn superstar Jenna Jameson showed up on a Fox morning show to talk about her new novel and apparently also felt that being blitzed was the way to approach such an interview. Her speech was slow and slurred and he general demeanor was what you might describe as “totally wasted.” The segment was cut short which TMZ says was a direct result of her wonky behavior.